I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it before, but JB’s been training at a mixed martial arts gym for several months now. He works with a trainer a few times a week and often comes home sporting black eyes or giant bruises from the sweaty man-on-man grappling they do on the mats, which is apparently totally heterosexual despite the fact that it often looks just like that tent scene in Brokeback Mountain.

He’s got his first official fight this weekend; a big event at his gym with lots of fighters and an actual paying audience and everything. It’s the culmination of weeks of hard training and I wish like hell I could be in the bleachers cheering him on. Unfortunately, this also happens to be the weekend of my half marathon, so while he’ll be stepping into the ring here in Seattle, I’ll be en route to New Orleans.

Talk about your crappy timing, right? It’s a bummer not only because we can’t be present at each other’s goal events—well, it wasn’t likely that JB was going to be able to be in New Orleans anyway, but I definitely would have been at his fight—but also since as the final days tick down before the weekend we can’t even really properly commiserate with each other.

JB: “Man, I’m stressed about the fight.”

Me: “Whatever. At least you don’t have to fly across the damn country to get to it.”

JB: “At least you won’t be on a stage.”

Me: “At least your fight won’t last, like, two and a half hours.”

JB: “At least you don’t have to just wait around for half the night beforehand.”

Me: “At least you don’t have to worry about a catastrophic gastrointestinal malfunction occurring at mile eight and you’ve still got 5.1 miles to go, motherfucker.”

Etc.

In all honesty I think JB’s got the harder task, if only because he has to make weight before the fight. He gets weighed on Friday morning and the scale has to read 145 or ELSE. He’s within spitting distance of that weight right now, thanks to a few weeks of extra vigilance, but these last few days are a big back of suck. No carbs, no starch, no salt, no snacks. I put him on the diet at the end of Jillian Michaels’ Making the Cut book, which features the world’s most depressing seven-day eating plan designed to cut any and all excess water weight. He’s basically allowed egg whites, plain chicken breast, and low-sodium tuna; meanwhile, I’m shoveling entire bags of salty popcorn in my fret-hole and wondering out loud through mouthfuls if I should eat spaghetti like all week to carb load or just augment my regular meals with, say, a steady influx of M&Ms.

A few years ago I don’t think either one of us would be able to believe the sorts of goals we have today. It feels amazing, really, to share these feelings—of having worked so hard, and aimed this high—with my partner and best friend. Whatever happens in that ring or on the race course this weekend, I know we have one thing in common: we are incredibly proud of one another.

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Eric's Mommy
12 years ago

“totally heterosexual despite the fact that it often looks just like that tent scene in Brokeback Mountain”

You crack me up. You guys are awesome, I’ll be cheering you guys both on from far away.

Sande
Sande
12 years ago

Ahhh…I actually have a tear falling down my cheek. Sweet.

Go Sundry!!! Go JB!!!

Jen B
Jen B
12 years ago

Very nice post (and inspiring)! Good luck on the 1/2 marathon if you don’t post before the weekend. Hopefully you’ll get to do some sightseeing in New Orleans before you come home…it’s such an awesome city!

DONNA
DONNA
12 years ago

Wow, good luck to you both, and 145 thats a really low weight for a man isn`t it? My husband is not fat at all and he weighs 170.

pam
pam
12 years ago

Hee hee!

I’m getting excited for Sunday too. I mean, in the M&M carb-loading kind of way.

Ashley, the Accidental Olympian

You two are officially the most bad ass couple on the planet.

Or at LEAST in the Seattle burbs.

DeenutsDana
12 years ago

Wish I weighed 145 lbs…

JennB
12 years ago

Good luck to you both, and congratulations for reaching your goals!!! Keep going!

Amanda
12 years ago

I have a friend who trained in mixed-martial arts. Right before his big fight he looked down-right gaunt. He won the fight, checked the bucket, and has moved on.

I hope that you both have fantastic experiences. You are both an inspiration to me. Not the kind of inspiration that makes me run marathons, but the kind that inspires me to be happy that YOU’RE running a marathon!

Marie Green
12 years ago

Wow, what a kickass weekend for both of you. I’m so excited to hear about how it goes! You both are great inspirations!

leigh
leigh
12 years ago

Congrats to you both. But I think JB has the harder task because a) I’ve been on diets like that for bodybuilding and to go through that with two small children is nothing short of heroic (I yelled at random strangers and gave people ahead of me in line at the grocery store the most heinous stink eye…) and b) someone is going to be trying to BEAT HIM UP.

Also, I know your race is going to go fine. I know it. Please do check in with us as soon as it is over!!!!

Donna
Donna
12 years ago

Both of you kick ass and take names.
And got em hangin.

Amy
Amy
12 years ago

F&*K. I weight 145 pounds. Good grief! For JB that must be but a feather. Both of you, kick butt and take names and Puleeeze, take lots of pictures!

lisa
lisa
12 years ago

good luck to you both, you two kick ass

SJ
SJ
12 years ago

Best of wishes to both of you this weekend! It’s truly inspiring, no matter how you look at it. I can’t even put it into words.

Can’t wait to hear all about both events, you guys are totally going to kick ass.

AndrewENZ
12 years ago

Good luck to both of you!

Beth
Beth
12 years ago

Hey, I have a tiny husband, too! OK, not tiny, but 5′ 7″, 145 pounds he’s pretty small for a guy. At one point I outweighed him (GRRR) but now it’s a draw.

Good luck to you both! I cannot wait to read about your half-marathon adventures! I’m training for the Portland Marathon in October, and it’s so inspiring to read about your runs.

OK, I also have a dumb question: can he weigh LESS than 145, by like a pound or two? I’m flummoxed by how someone could be expected to weigh some EXACT number on a totally random scale. My weight fluctuates by like 7 pounds throughout the day, and that’s just on my scale!

twojams
twojams
12 years ago

Funny AND inspiring, as usual. Good luck to you both this weekend!

Hilary
12 years ago

I did the cut-weight-for-a-fight thing (in my case when I competed in the women’s amateur boxing world) and it suuuucks. To my great shame, even after working out three times a day and eating 6 tiny meals of lean protein, I could never get under 141 pounds. My body just refused. It was instructive to learn that about myself, but so annoying not be able to get into the lower weight class with the (hopefully) shorter opponents.

Competing in a martial arts match is one of the most frightening things you can do. Tell JB before the fight he’ll DEEPLY regret his decision, but that after the fight he’ll feel SO AWESOME. I think I smiled for a week after my first fight. It’s an amazing experience.

kalisa
12 years ago

I would have a hard time watching my husband in any sort of fight. I can’t help but think of that episode of Friends, where Monica dates the guy who wants to be an Ultimate Fighter.

sheilah
12 years ago

That is so cool. Congratulations to both of you.

Alyce
Alyce
12 years ago

You have every reason to be. (so proud, I mean)

Congratulations to you both.

laziza
laziza
12 years ago

Congrats and good luck to you both! HUGE for you to both get to where you are. If you “win” anything – that’s icing.

I actually came to tell you that your tweet about Dylan and his chainsaw has been literally making me laugh out loud all day. (I’m not on Twitter and couldn’t tell you there.) But just picturing it… Oh, man, I’m laughing again. My 16-month-old got his first time out last night, so espeically apropos.

ginger
ginger
12 years ago

Maybe it’s just as well that you don’t have to watch someone trying to kick and punch the man you love, the father of your children, without assisting or intervening? It’s a sport, sure, but it’s sort of counter to everything else in partnership to stand and cheer while someone socks your sweetie in the gut. (Although I suppose you could pull out the old Lamaze books for support purposes – BREATHE, BABY!)

Regardless, you are, as noted above, the most badass couple in Bellevue.

Jenn
12 years ago

two and a half hours?? give yourself a little credit. I’d bet money you’re damn close to two, if not under. all the best to you both this weekend!

Alexandra
Alexandra
12 years ago

Long time reader first time commenter. Also I’ve run a bunch of marathons and halves and so I wanted to just put this out there as something I always do that works -take an Immodium in the morning before the race. You won’t poop that day (or maybe even the next one) but you won’t have an incident while you’re running, either, which is a small price to pay. Or at least I think
so. Good luck!

Kristina
Kristina
12 years ago

Ha Ha! You’re right, a “catastrophic gastrointestinal malfunction” is my biggest worry of a long race!

Victoria
12 years ago

The bursting into tears I did at the end of that post has nothing to do with my hormones and more to do with how sweet it is. I swear.

Rachel
Rachel
12 years ago

Those two boys are lucky to have such great parents.

Christie
Christie
12 years ago

Seriously,I totally teared up on this one. The two of you have so much to be proud of. You are exceptional role models for your children…and for me. My husband and I have recently taken on the task of getting back into the gym. Unfortunatley, he’s a sailor and about to leave on unaccompanied orders for TWO years so I’ll be on my own. My challenge will be staying motivated for when I do get to see him again.

You and JB rock…keep it up!!!!!! GOOD LUCK TO YOU BOTH!

Kate @ Life As I Live It

Aww, GOOD LUCK to both of you. I know you’ll both do awesome. Just the mere fact that you’re doing it is worthy of a medal.

I hope you both have someone in your corner to take pictures so we can “see” you achieving your goals. And even though I’ve done two halfs myself, I can’t wait to read about it in YOUR words.

And best of luck to JB! What a stud.

Melissa
Melissa
12 years ago

I’m jealous and humbled all in one post. Good job to you both. I have to talk myself into a super short BenderBall routine every night, running is definitely a pipe dream.

Noemi
12 years ago

The VERY best of luck to you both… Although, I would also bet that if JB has been training as hard as you have, then luck will have little to do with your respective performances. You’ve put in the work; now go reap the rewards of such efforts. I cannot wait to hear about it!

Bachelor Girl
12 years ago

I am so incredibly proud of both of you guys. You’re awesome, and you’re both going to do great. KICK SOME ASS THIS WEEKEND, OKAY?!

Sonia
Sonia
12 years ago

WOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!!! GO LINDA AND JB!!!!! You guys kick 10 kinds of ass, and I can’t wait to hear how both of your events went.

Carmen
12 years ago

I LOVE MMA training. I train five days a week. It often DOEs resemble Brokeback Mountain – the place I train at is called Linxx, so we often refer to it as Brokeback Linxx.

Making weight is HARD. I ran a half marathon, so I know THAT’s HARD too. I wish nothing but the best to both of you.

Daily Cup of Jo
12 years ago

Yeah, like others who commented, I couldn’t quite get past the fact that your husband weighs what I weigh. And that diet! Ugh. I run SO I CAN EAT, so if nothing else, you come out looking wiser than he. Good luck to both of you. I’m doing my first marathon in ten years at the end of March (Los Angeles) and I’ve taken to popping two Pepto Bismal tablets in my mouth halfway through long runs so I don’t vomit at the end. Remind me again why we do these things.

Good luck to both of you!

Jess
Jess
12 years ago

Gotta say, you two are the Awesome – with the capital A. I’ve done the make weight thing for kickboxing tournaments – and it can make a huge difference in who you end up fighting – especially for your first fight – especially if you’re ridiculously tall. And I’ve done (and am doing) the half-marathon thing. They are both extremely challenging and rewarding – and scary as hell, at least right up until that part when you start and then the active brain checks out and the lizard brain checks in and you get to see just how effective your training has been. You will do great. You’ve been running some serious distance for quite a while. And JB will also do great – his trainers wouldn’t be down with this fight if he wasn’t ready. Congrats to you both!

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