Feb
24
NECESSITIES
Riley: (proudly showing his uncle Joe the Lego building he made) “And this is the getaway boat, and this is the extra room, and this wall is a little taller because it’s part castle.”
Joe: “Cool! Where’s the cannon?”
Riley: “Oh, it’s right here, in this wall.”
Me: “How did you know it would have a cannon?”
Joe: (disbelieving) “You’ve gotta have a cannon.”
THANK GOD HE WAS TALKING ABOUT THE CLARISONIC
Riley: “Mom? Can I play with your thing, the plastic thing you have? The plastic thing that when you turn it on it goes bmmmmmm?”
DESPERATE BARGAINING
Me: “Hey! Dylan, did you track this mud into the house?”
Dylan: “Um. Um. Um. If my shoes did accidentally make that dirt but they didn’t mean to, would you be mad at me?”
FROM THE BOY WHO ISN’T PRONE TO VERBAL EXPRESSIONS OF AFFECTION
Dylan: (shyly, after I kiss him goodnight) “The baby whistlepig … the baby whistlepig loves the mommy whistlepig.”
TIME TRAVEL
Dylan: “Remember a long long time ago when Daddy made pancakes and I got to pour the syrup?”
Me: “You mean yesterday?”
Dylan. “Yeah. Also tomorrow I’m going to ride the bus with Riley to school because I’m going to be in kindergarten!”
Me: “You mean next fall?”
Dylan: “Yeah.”
ON MAKING CHORES LESS TEDIOUS
Riley: (rolling a ball across the table and into the toy basket) “This one had a little fun before he went away.”
Riley: (picking up the living room, one hand full of toys) “Look at this hand! This hand is like a party.”
EXOTIC TASTES
Dylan: “Can I have a dolphin pancake?”
Me: “A pancake cut into a dolphin shape?”
Dylan: “No! A pancake made out of real dolphin.”
Me: “Gross.”
Dylan: (rubbing his belly dramatically and smacking his lips) “MMMM. DOLPHIN. TASTES LIKE FIN.”
KEEN OBSERVATIONS
Riley: (examining my fresh-from-the-laundry bra) “I guess girl underwear is just really different.”
Dylan: “It looks like two Easter eggs!”
Riley: (doubtfully) “Ostrich eggs, maybe.”
HMMM
Riley: “Do kids go to jail?”
Me: “Well, no.”
Riley: “Okay.”
Me: “But why do you ask?”
Riley: “No reason.”
FOR ALWAYS
Riley: (snuggling with his ratty blue blanket he’s had since birth) “I just love my blanket so, so much.”
Me: “I know you do, sweetie.”
Riley: “Will I have it forever?”
Me: “You’ll have it as long as you want it.”
Riley: “What if it rips?”
Me: “We’ll fix it.”
Riley: “I know it doesn’t look like it used to. But it’s like that book, right? About the rabbit? It’s real now, isn’t it? And it doesn’t mind looking like this?”
Me: “That’s right. Because you love it so much.”
Riley: (burying his face in the cloth) “It’s real for always.”
Comments
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I’m laughing, I’m crying. This is the best. I’m 40 and i still have my blankie, even though he isn’t the same after I accidentally “cooked” him in the weird German washing machine during the year of study abroad in college. I can barely talk about it.
Seriously loved them ALL. I don’t comment often, but whenever I see you’ve posted I can’t wait to read :) I had a blankie. My “snuggie”. Had it since I was born. Loved the shit out of that thing. Took it to college where an angry ex decided to hold my it hostage after a messy breakup. I’m 33 and I still miss that damn thing. Seriously.
I just died. From all the cute. Seriously love this!
Hysterical and adorable at the same time!!
i adore everything about this post. absolutely perfect. your kids are awesome.
I can’t even pick a favorite, those are all hilarious/adorable! I wish I could catch stuff my son says more often (he’s four).
ALL totally adorable, but “this hand is like a party” had me laughing out loud – awesome :o)
Riley: “Do kids go to jail?”
Me: “Well, no.”
Riley: “Okay.”
Me: “But why do you ask?”
Riley: “No reason.”
A Calvin & Hobbes Conversation!
That ostrich egg bra one was my favorite! Little boys are hilarious. And I agree with Tricia- that second to last one is totally a Calvin & Hobbes-like exchange. Wonderful post!
Since I don’t know what a Clarisonic is, I’m still thinking it’s… well, you know.
Love this post!
Two things:
-oops, I just forgot the first. We will have to come back to it.
-I am in love with your kiddos on the Internet. Um, not at all in a creepy way, I promise. (Wait, that was #1!)
-I had that same conversation about kids going to jail many times as a school age care director many moons ago. Always kids about Riley’s age, usually boys. HMMM, indeed, what the heck am I teaching you guys anyway! Do I really need to do everything around here myself? *brisk Swistle clap!* engaging teacher voice, “inside voices!”
SHEESH, spoke to soon!
Jeez, Lorraine! Common courtesy & the use of simple human decency while in public are not at all expensive. You may be interested in accessing a dictionary definition of the words “kindness” and “appreciation” one of these days.
Good luck to you on your path until then. We all have to start somewhere. You have reached the end of your internets, apparently. Bon Voyage!