Nov
27
I mentioned this recently at The Other Blog: The Other Blog is going to be no more as of the end of the year. Which is kind of a drag, because in addition to the handy payment that gig dished up on a monthly basis (one thing I’ve really come to appreciate in the world of freelancing: predictability. In my experience, it tends to be a feast-or-famine situation where I’m either drowning in assignments or sitting around trying to word one of those Oh hiiii, just checking in, reminding you of my presence and availability and dirty, dirty love for your sweet, sweet checks emails) I’ve really enjoyed writing over there. It’s been nice to have a specific place to put the All Mommyblog, All the Time stuff, not that I’ve exactly kept it out of this blog but you know what I mean.
Anyway, I’ve been thinking of what to do with Purple Is a Fruit, and I’d love to get your feedback. Look, I made a POLL:
If you have an “Other” (Lair, Cave, etc) type of answer, hit me up in the comments. Cool? Cool.
In other news, JB recently told me he thought I seemed more “complainy” with this pregnancy. This he said to a woman the size of a African rhino with heartburn, the Jimmy Leg, chronically demented sinuses, and a need to visit the bathroom approximately 829156 times per night.
And so with that in mind, I will tell you, despite being EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN to do so, that JB is a man who gets choked up during “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”.
Ha. So there.
Lastly, if you haven’t already seen these great WoW ads, please enjoy. The first one makes wonder just why I haven’t had more Mr. T in my life in recent years.
Nov
25
I’m glad to be done with long road trips for the remainder of this pregnancy, because not only is it generally uncomfortable to sit in one place for hours on end while a squirming badger attempts to karate-kick every single internal organ in my body, but the Jimmy Leg has officially set in, and the only thing more annoying than craning around backwards to find whatever object that has been purposefully thrown—then immediately, loudly regretted—from a cranky toddler’s carseat is having the Jimmy Leg and being unable to walk it off.
For those unfamiliar with the Jimmy Leg, you’ve probably seen the commercial for a medication purporting to treat oddball symptoms in the legs, like “strange sensations”, “creepy-crawlies”, and “tingling”. This is the same commercial my coworker joked about a while back when we were talking about those pharmaceutical ads where they never mention what actual disease the medication will treat, they just show an uplifting montage of random happy lifestyle moments then rattle off a list of potential side effects, the upshot being that you watch the ad and vaguely feel that hey, you might benefit from the drug, even if it’s for erectile dysfunction and you’re a 12-year-old girl. “Now they’ve even got a pill for something called restless legs syndrome,” he said, rolling his eyes and making those exaggerated air quotes.
I’ll admit that it does sound sort of ridiculous, but if you’ve experienced Restless Legs Syndrome, AKA RLS, AKA the Jimmy Leg, you know that shit is not only real, it sucks. It doesn’t suck in a major, life-threatening sort of way, like getting your leg caught in a bear trap or having it slowly gnawed to the bone by hungry, but myopic beavers. It sucks more in a really annoying sort of way, like having an tiny invisible non-stinging insect rammed up your nose. Where every now and then it buzzes its wings in an attempt to get free, and you have to sit there digging around in your nostril to alleviate the feeling. And everyone looks at you going, why the crap are you picking your nose like that? There’s nothing up there.
Wait, that’s a really bad analogy. It’s more like the sensation that if you don’t move your legs, like jiggle your foot wiggle your toes shake your leg up and down whatever, you will EXPLODE. In a giant bloody meat-spraying geyser of shiny gloppy innards. You can try and not move your legs, but then you will feel this growing freakout happening all over your body, this EXPLOSION IMMINENT feeling, and if you actually force yourself to keep your legs still some other body part will wig out, like your arm will fling up in the air and smack your own face, or accidentally hit “1-click” on a pair of Spanx maternity pantyhose (there can be no other explanation for that purchase).
Anyway, it tends to happen when I’m sitting or lying down, and being stuck in a car for seven hours definitely makes it worse. JB probably has two foot-shaped dents in his dashboard from my increasingly Cirque du Soleil contortions and toe-tappings, but fuck it, it was either that or get out in Central Oregon and jog alongside the truck all the way home.
Other than the travel-related discomfort, it was a really good trip. Riley was in fine spirits the entire time (which of course made it inevitable that once we returned home he would immediately develop a hacking cough, runny nose, and plant himself firmly in the Tantrum Zone for the remainder of the weekend), the weather in Bend was lovely, and our holiday was satisfyingly festive. I hope you had a good one too, hopefully Jimmy-Leg-free.
A view from one of Bend’s neighborhoods. I would really love to move to this town someday.
Mt. Jefferson, viewed from the road about an hour outside of Bend.
A cold, frosty morning in Central Oregon.
Speaking of cold and frosty, check out Mr. L.L. Bean here, bundled against the chilly weather. The hands in the pockets, could you just die.
I was really hoping for a semi-decent photo of the three (four!) of us to use in our holiday card, this was the best of the bunch. At least no one is crying or surreptitiously giving the camera-wielder the finger.
Lastly, some crazy shoe tree we spotted on the way home. There’s something sort of magical and awesome about a tree full of shoes that’s literally out in the middle of bumfucknowhere, you know? I guess a tree full of Nestle Crunch bars might be better, but this was pretty cool.
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