When Riley and I were in DC a few weeks ago for the Hershey’s/Night at the Museum event, we were sitting with the other bloggers at breakfast and I somehow won a free trip back to DC for the Night at the Museum 2 premiere. I was kind of confused about the whole thing because they called my name while I was having this intense discussion with Mom-101‘s nephew Brodie about coffee and he was just in the middle of asking why people don’t just pour coffee on their heads instead of drinking it in the morning and I was all dude, I think you’re on to something there, that would sure wake MY ass up, and then someone was all, “Linda!” and I was like Riley stop standing on your chair and eat your cereal huh?

Which is how I came to be at some fancypants movie premiere last night with the actual stars of the movie in attendance and lots of women wearing fierce shoes and jutting collarbones and everyone being very cool except of course for me, because I was busy urging Amy to do the “I’m crushing your head!” thing at Owen Wilson.

She totally did it, too. Ha ha ha DOOOOORRK!

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I was determined to get a picture of the two of us flanking Ben Stiller, maybe giving him rabbit ears or forcing him to yell MOMMYBLAWWG or something while we towered over him in our heels (such a cliche and yet so true: movie stars, they’re just like Us! Assuming Us = short), and I actually went so far as to grab his arm as he was being ushered by, because oh, you know, why NOT physically accost the guy surrounded with security, but sadly he scampered away before I could drag him to a halt.

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Whoah, check it out! It’s Ricky Gervais! Oh Ricky you’re so fine you’re so fine you blow my mind hey Ricky! Hey RICKY! Ha ha ha ha haaaa I bet you have never heard THAT one before, Mr. Gervais! Wait where are you going?

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After the celebrity-gawking we filed into a giant IMAX theater and watched the movie and that was pretty enjoyable, partially because the film has some legitimately laugh-out-loud funny scenes and partially because the good people at Hershey’s had provided these massive feed-bags of Reese’s Pieces (which I heard Owen Wilson dismiss when offered some by his handler. “I don’t need any damn candy“, he said, like OMG my body is a temple. Men who fear sugar: Hot or Not? I say Not, even when combined with a sexy broken-ass nose).

Afterwards there was this big fancy party thing and instead of mingling I holed up with Amy and we talked about, wait for it, our kids. Everyone else was standing around nibbling at canapes and teetering back and forth in their stilettos and looking very posh and I was like OH MAN POTTY TRAINING I KNOW. The guy who plays Napoleon in the movie was standing nearby with his swan-necked, much-younger girlfriend and I think I actually drove them away with my enthusiastic, detailed description of our post-potty wiping technique.

Clearly I shouldn’t be invited to such things and in fact probably should never leave the confines of my house, but ANYWAY, it was a fantastically fun evening, particularly because I finally got to meet Amy in person. I’m super grateful to Hershey’s for the trip, and for the extra ten pounds of ass-fat I gained from their delicious candy that Owen Wilson wouldn’t eat.

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Comments

57 Responses to “Night at the Museum premiere”

  1. Kym on May 18th, 2009 2:11 pm

    You were in my neck of the wood’s again, and no phone call!! LOL… Glad you had a great time!

  2. Sonia on May 18th, 2009 3:25 pm

    *snort* LMFAO!!! I just watched the video, and holy SH!# that was cute! I wonder why your little camera flash caught his attention so thoroughly, when it was behind him?! Surely there must have been cameras flashing from every direction at him? I loved your cat-with-a-canary grin when he turned.

    I am a celebrity WHORE. I live for my weekly People magazine. Am pathetic. My hubby won a radio contest in 2004, to walk the red carpet at the Premiere of Metallica’s Some Kind of Monster documentary, in New York. I wish someone had snapped a photo of me standing there with my glass of wine at the after party, staring around with googley eyes and a dopey grin. I have to agree about the short thing…..David Spade never seemed tall to me anyway, but WHOA was I shocked when he walked up to me…..I was looking down on him. I’m 5’4.

    Also, LOVE that you and Amy hung out!! You both are two of my favorite bloggers!

  3. Jessica on May 20th, 2009 9:54 am

    Is that Kristen Bell looking really blurry in behind Ricky?

  4. The Informal Matriarch on May 21st, 2009 10:03 am

    Is that the photo of Ben that you took like 2 seconds before he looked back at you like “what the hell lady?”. Damnit that was a funny video.

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