Good lord woman, now you’ve gone and made me laugh.

And could that child BE any more suspicious looking? :)

as a friend said last night, dudes only get to complain when it get to the stage that an orifice of THEIRS is being opened by something that cranks open. duck lips anyone? ::shudder::

mister riley is looking mighty tough. he wears it well.

seriously. men will not go to the doctor. I think my husband probably wouldn’t if his foot was rotting off. Men just happen to be the world’s largest piles of insanity when it comes to things like that.
On a different non-man-bashing note, i love the choice of granite. It’s the perfect mixture of hues.

The male doctor thing, although I do think the threat of the anal probing gets them, has more to do with machismo, mortality and the fear of aging. In my own personal life experience, men would rather almost die, like really almost effin’ die for real, than go to the freakin’ doctor.

The biblical saying is gold, pure gold.
Good to see Riley is still ultra suspicious :)

My husband goes to the doctor a zillion times a year, for the serious stuff as well as the not so serious. Obviously, he doesn’t mind it a bit. I don’t know why he’s like that, but he’s been that way for the 35 years we’ve been married, so it’s not just his age. I, on the other hand, hate going and only go once a year and that’s once too many!

My husband wouldn’t go last year when he was bitten by a BROWN RECLUSE. And there was no chance orifaces would be probed if he went to get that fixed (except maybe the gaping wound the bite caused). I agree that it has to do with machismo and mortality issues.

Riley is awesome.

Doctors are who you see if you want to stop eating good food, get scared about your visceral fat, and find out your blood pressure is too high. Or that you have Dengue hemorrhagic fever. If nobody tells you how sick you are, then things are fine and you’re great. If you go to the doctor, they’ll find out that you’re sick, and then you’ll be dying. No doctor = not sick = not dying.

Plus, then there’s the finger in the butt thing. Which everybody knows makes you gay.

My husband can be added to the won’t go to the doctor under any circumstances list. I’ve been listening to him bitch about various aches and pains since we met 5 years ago, and I don’t think been in to see one in that time.

Riley is one tough looking kid. Wouldn’t want to meet him alone in a dark alley.

I will not mess with that kid. Bee bee or not.

Wait. That sounded wrong.

I’m in your camp, Sundry. My fiance will probably never go to the doctor again after a very surprised, unpleasant visit to the doctor’s this past winter. It wasn’t enough before that he claimed it COULD happen; no, now he is absolutely convinced it will happen EVERY TIME. So, uh, if you read in the Seattle Times about some 30 year old keeling over in the north end of the city from some very curable illness had he just gone to the doctor, that’ll probably be him. Send flowers.

Ok, point to Jake for making me laugh. :)

The granite looked, at first, like a slab of pepper crusted salmon or somesuch. so, mmmm.

And in the first pic, Riley seems to be saying “Why on earth would Daddy go to the doctor? That is veeeeery suspicious.”

Just wait until JB gets older. A couple of years ago I had my first kaleidoscope. You know, where they take a large scope and explore Uranus. The granite looks great, lots of character.

Good God, those are some serious eyebrows. I call uncle.

Nate won’t go to the doctor AT ALL but I don’t think its anything to do with fears for his butt, as his health problems are mainly to do with his back. Unless he’s had some bad experiences in the past with going to a doctor for back problems and ending up with a rectal exam, in which case I have no idea what the hell kind of doctor he was going to.

I think it is a control issue with men. When they visit the dr., they are not in control of the situation. AND they realize that they can’t control EVERYTHING (like getting sick) At least that is the case with my husband. However, once we had kids and I old him to quit whining when he didn’t feel well ( I also completely ignored his pathetic sickness act…suck it up and get out of bed – it is just a cold!!!!) he went to the dr. more often. It’s all how you play the game :)

OMG, Riley has THE BROW. HAHAHAHA!!! I’ll have to ask Hubby about the topic at hand.

Ha Ha too funny!
Love the beebee picture, he looks so serious/suspicious!

My husband has gotten better with going to the Dr. even though he did actually have a valid bad experience once.
He has back problems and actually as I type here at work he is at home in severe pain having to deal with a five year old. He messed up his back yet again about a week ago lifting the transmission to his car, so he can barely move and he’s hopefully going to get an MRI today.
So between my problems and his back problems we have been in and out of the Dr. about 374648493283364822 times is the past few weeks.
He also thinks he has a pulled groin muscle and when I came home from work the other day he needed me to “inspect” the area and make sure it wasn’t swollen. Hmmmmmm wait a minute…… I think that may have been just a ploy to get me to probe his genitals!

If you think it’s bad trying to get him to go for a regular malady, imagine the enthusiastic response you get when they have to go specifically to have their man parts examined (part of infertility testing). I deliberately left out the fact that one of the descriptions I read said these visits often included a “digital rectal examination.” That really sounds like something you’d rather be surprised about, rather than worry endlessly about beforehand, no? Luckily (for him) this particular doc didn’t do the probe (tho he was a bit insulted when his balls were judged to be “average.”)

My husband was the same way and I kept hounding him to see a doctor about a similar probably-not-life-threatening issue. It ended up resulting in him needing a sphigmoidoscopy which he was nervous about for obvious reasons and I was worried he would try to back out (no pun intended) last minute.

But he did it! And he talks about it all the time and how it’s totally no big deal and people shouldn’t be scared or embarrassed because it’s nowhere near as bad as he thought it was going to be.

Seriously. He talks about it often. One time specifically was when his sister’s boyfriend attended his first family function. Way to welcome him to the family, dear.

I think Jake is right. My husband is totally afraid of being told he has a brain tumor or cancer and thus will not go to the doctor.

I am the opposite. I am convinced I have some awful disease, so I go to the doctor to calm my fear and tell me that no, it is just a mild virus. I love that! Maybe that makes me a hypochondriac.

My husband and I recently both went to the doctor to get some moles looked at. In the waiting room, we were joking about and he says “I hope they don’t make me take off my shoes and socks because my feet smell”. And I’m saying ‘yeah, they’ll do that…for a MOLE!’, and then we go on to joke about getting naked, etc. The mole was behind his ear, and I mentioned that would be a fairly circuitous route to get to it. Well, whaddya know – in the office (because my husband hadn’t been to the doctor for years), the doc decides to check his feet for circulation issues ‘since you’re here’. And then, when asked the optimum time to begin prostate concerns, the doctor says ‘probably not until you’re 50’…..’BUT, since you’re here….’ – hahahaha, I had to leave the room and was laughing thinking about what was going on behind there. All this for a mole! But I think it was for the best – surprise attack! They went out for dinner after.

I go to the doctor when a) I am sick with b) something that the doctor can plausibly fix. Otherwise, not. E.g. at the moment I am off running with a shin injury. Every female around (especially the beloved wife) has asked a zillion times “why HAVEN’T you gone to the doctor yet?” Uh, a) because it’s a pain in the ass, but mostly b) because he’ll tell me to rest it and ice it and take ibuprofen and hmm, the x-ray looks like I might have hurt my leg. Did that, yep iced, did the piils too, and I kinda guessed that I hurt my leg. So what would be the point?

As far as the rectal exam, I don’t know how other guys feel about it, but it’s no big deal. Certainly not my favorite thing but it wouldn’t keep me away if I thought I really needed a doctor.

As for Riley, I think the word “truculent” was invented for those faces .. love it!

Laughed until tears actually left my eye region.

That boy looks like he’s ready for a role on Orange County Choppers.

maybe if they gave orifice exams some of them romantic slab of rock names…

in our home, those would be called “Man Dots”

My husband’s theory is…you aren’t sick until you visit the doctor. Until then it is only symptoms. So in his twisted mind….the doctor IS the one that makes him sick.

As for me…I go when I don’t feel well (unless it is a small cold). Other than that…I am there!

Love how suspicious Riley is!

How timely is this post! My spouse is actually going to the doctor today. We’ve been married 11 years, together for over 13 and I think this is the third time he’s been. (and he made fun of me because I have my doc’s number memorized) But honestly, the ONLY reason he’s going is that I refused to have sex until his whooping, rattling cough of death goes away. I’m quite sure this was the catalyst.

Also Riley: I LOVE LOVE LOVE THOSE PICTURES! Will you please come photograph my kid randomly so I can have at least SOME pix without the red eye?

safeword….ha

Awesome add-on biblical verse. I might be inclined to sneak into a couple churches and pen that one in.

Perhaps there will be more men making doctor’s appointments that way.

“I did it like this, I did it like that, I did it with a wiffleball bat…”

I’m trying to get my husband to go to the doctor for what is obviously depression brought about by his father’s brain cancer, and he very sneeringly asks me why he can’t just drink – isn’t that the same thing as being medicated for depression? I may have to medicate him with a wiffleball bat to the head.

My DH denied for YEARS, that he was a likely Type 2 Diabetic (our constant jokes about him not being able to go anywhere if there was not a bathroom available nearby wasn’t a clue?). It took a failed Insurance physical to finally get him off the dime and into the Doctor’s office. When you get your blood sugar level down from three times the normal limit, it is amazing how much better you feel.

Tell JB he will likely feel much better shortly afterward, and will be slapping himself on the forehead about being such a baby!

At first scroll, I thought that slab of granite was going to be a piece of moldy bread that was uncovered during your kitchen remodel!

Okay, seriously off topic, but Riley’s arms are adorable enough to make me laugh! (I know, I know, how weird am I?) They’re so small and scrawny next to his barrel chest.

Hilarious post, hilarious comments. Great pictures. That second one really made me laugh out loud. “I will EFF YOU UP with this ring stacker!”

Who said “man dots”? HAHAHAHA. I’ll have to remember that one when my son gets older.

It’s fear. I made my husband go to the dr. once 15 years ago to get a mole checked. He had night terrors for about a week before his appt.

Laura: that is instantly what I thought when I heard wiffleball bat also….Beastie Boys forever!

g~: then we can be weird together! I saw his wittle arms and was just like awwwww look at his tiny little arms! ::babyswoon:: :)

Great timing. I had a rectal exam today. Thanks for bringing up that almost-suppressed memory again.

You want to know why men hate going to the doctor? I’ll tell you why. Because it is a waste of time. Men are born with the completely normal instinct to be the baddest mofo on the planet. If you aren’t dying, you shouldn’t be a pussy and go get help from some guy who touches other guys for a living. You should be a man and walk it off, or rub some dirt on it, or drink whiskey and gasoline until you burn it out of your system. If you are dying, then congradulations. There is no need to go see a doctor and ruin your manliness right before you kick the bucket. You don’t want people to chisel your tombstone with the message:

“John Q. Girlyman, beloved nancy boy to many. May you rest in peace. (knowing that your sons will grow up wearing dresses, constantly shamed by their peers for having a wimpy father)”

Plus, there’s the intrusion. Doctors look for excuses to probe your poop chute and handle your coin purse. And then they charge you, literally, out the ass.

If you get burned by lava over 90% of your body, and you don’t have aloe and tequila available to you at home, then it is ok to see a doctor. If you are fighting a puma, or a bear, or a T-rex or whatever, and it maims you so badly that you are incapable of stopping the people around you from taking you to the doctor, then it is ok. If (as one of the comments before pointed out) your woman, out of the love of her heart, but without understanding for the man code, takes your love life hostage and demands that you see a doctor or forever go without the love making you need and deserve, then it is ok to go. But under no circumstance should any man go seek treatment because he feels sniffly, or under the weather, or gets a booboo. In fact, don’t seek treatment of your own accord ever. And don’t accept any unless the alternative is worse than hell itself. Much much worse.

Except for jelly fish, which are freaky and disturbing creatures, and no man should ever die like Queen Latifa in Sphere.

I forgot to say that it is ok to see a doctor if he is giving you a new heart, liver, etc. Because taking other people organs is a manly enough activity to change his status from doctor to scientist therefore permiting you to allow his aide in the theft of said organ.

Riley-Pictures plus BabyTwo-Pictures. . . . can’t wait!

Josh, you seriously kill me. I should be collecting your comments into a little Hallmark gift book.

Oh, also, maybe men don’t like going to the doctor because they don’t like any kind of INSTRUCTIONS. And I guess instructions that involve bending over a table are the worst kind.

The granite is gorgeous!

The whole finger treatment is not something you experience with a Doctor’s visit unless its the whole yearly physical thing and where they’ll exam every inch of you and draw enough blood for several transfusions. While yes it can be a bit uncomfortable, its better to know something in time to actually, you know, treat it. This from someone who lost a Mother ot ovarian cancer because she refused to go to a Doctor until it was too late. An ouch of prevention and all that.

Here’s a great one: my husband had to have a rule set against him: you can only go to the hosiptal if it’s broken AND I see blood. Big baby always thought he needed to go to the hospital, not the doctor NO the Emergency Room. Of course since the rule has gone in effect he hasn’t gone to the doctor either. Must be some kind of protest…

Sundry, have you seen this widget for expecting moms?
http://www.widgetbox.com/widget/baby-ticker

I’ve talked with Hallmark. Apparently I’m not what they’re looking for. I told them I like kittens but they didn’t listen. I’m waiting for Alice Cooper to start a card company. He already golfs, so how far off could it be?

Josh said it all very well. Yes… it’s the security breach. I once, while in the hospital, was told by the doctor that it was necessary. I said no. He said would you rather die? I said yes. I mean… if I’ve got whatever it is that’s important enough to go there for, I’m dead. If nothing is found, then there was no need to go there.

Are your books arranged by color on that bookshelf behind Riley in the last (cute) photo?