Nov
7
So I’ve been mildly obsessed with this website that has archived the last statements of prisoners executed in Texas. What? Oh, don’t look at me like that, at least it’s not dolphin porn.
In those transcripts some people ask for forgiveness. Some people declare their innocence, right down to the bitter end (those are the most disturbing ones to read, because the possibility that they might not be lying? Yeesh). Most people do a sort of shout-out to God, like they’re hoping for a Get Out Of Hell Free card.
It got me thinking what I might possibly say if I were faced with imminent death and given the opportunity to grace the planet with one last statement. I suppose I’d tell my family I loved them, what else would there be to say? Well, other than “Does anyone have a kleenex? Because I just shit my pants.” Or “Don’t mess with Texas. SERIOUSLY.”
My favorite of all the final words in that macabre little collection, by the way, is this: “Okay I’ve been hanging around this popsicle stand way too long. Before I leave, I want to tell you all. When I die, bury me deep, lay two speakers at my feet, put some headphones on my head and rock and roll me when I’m dead.”
If you’ll pardon the lack of any sort of sensible segue from death row statements to The Remodel, I thought I’d bore the shit out of you with some photos of how it has all turned out so far, now that we’ve finally (mostly) wrapped up the other rooms.
This is our front room now, it wasn’t part of the remodel but we rearranged a bunch of stuff when we moved the TV into the new room. I can’t seem to find a good picture of how it was laid out before, but here’s one view.
We got our coffee table back out of storage, although I’m sure we’ll banish it once again when Smalltopus is at the head-bashing stage. That little blue kid’s table/chair combo came from Fred Meyer, it was cheap as hell and Riley loves it. WIN.
Here’s the dining room area now, with new IKEA bookshelf (the LINNARP model, if you’re interested) (also: LINNARP! LINNARP! Oh, it’s fun to say). That cutout into the kitchen looks sort of weird in this photo, it’s not so blatantly Testrisy in real life.
View from the kitchen into the front room.
The new living room, or family room, or den, or whatever it’s called. The room that actually has insulation and therefore isn’t freezing all winter long, that’s how I think of it. We got the sectional from Levitz; JB made that side table (he’s both handy AND profane, and that’s why I love him so).
Here’s another view from the new living room with the office entryway visible.
This is the office, which I can’t seem to photograph without making it look about three feet wide. It’s small, but not quite as small as it appears here.
One of the office windows, which looks into the background. With all its mounds of reeking dogshit lovely fall foliage.
Here’s the entire addition as viewed from the outside of the house. Not shown: the port-a-potty that is mysteriously STILL HERE.
And here’s a really crappy comparison of how the place looked when we first got it, and how it looks today. To date we have added a garage, remodeled/expanded the master bath and bedroom, added an office and a living room on the west side of the house, and remodeled/expanded the kitchen. AND NOW WE ARE DONE FOREVER AND EVER AND EVER AMEN.
We could have made do with the house as it was, but this is now a place we can easily stay in for any length of time, and believe it or not it was cheaper than buying a bigger place. We now have more storage, and we have room for both kids to have their own room while still retaining an office space. If our most recent appraisal is to be believed, the whole venture has been a success from an investment standpoint—so keep on climbing to increasingly horrifying and unrealistic medians, Seattle housing market! I hate you but I love you.
At this point, the only thing we have left to do is transform our old office into Riley’s new bedroom. So this:
. . . has to become something a little more toddler-friendly. The upside-down tables probably need to go.
But other than that, WE’RE DONE. No more contractors in the house! No more refrigerators in the front room! No more Mystery Lube! The Great Remodel Bitchfest of 2006-2007 has reached its conclusion, thank you for allowing me to complain so vigorously and annoyingly for so very very long.
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Your house (inside and out) is gorgeous. Enjoy every day there.
You and JB should be very proud of yourselves for surviving a difficult yet worthwhile task. Enjoy!
And that was 5-6 months of remodel?
It ended just in time to snuggle on that new couch with a bowl of squash soup. And a toddler. Don’t forget the cookies!
Can I come live with you? Seriously – your place looks great! I love the windows looking out onto the yard.
As a native Texan I enjoyed reading the details of the inmates’ last meals, but the state did away with it citing “bad taste.”
Ooooh! Found it:
http://tinyurl.com/2ezoeh
Congratulations on getting your remodelling done, you have one very beautiful house!
Happy New House-ness to you guys!
I love it, and lemony-yellow is such a happy, lovely colour (I know was already like that before remodel but hey, thought I’d go all the way with the compliments).
Your house is so cosy looking, it’s worked out really well.
“The upside-down tables probably need to go.” Also maybe the drill? Your house looks amazing, you guys have done a great job. Glad it’s done – enjoy.
Love the new fence! Your house is amazing. Thanks for sharing with us :-)
I love house photos! I have been anxious to see everything done and it looks fantastic. And so clean and organized. Did you guys decide on a table or something for the nook in the kitchen? That is the only part that wasn’t shown in photographs.
Congratulations on finally being done and being able to enjoy your family in your larger space.
I’m bummed you didn’t show the nook.
And the mystery lube…oh my god.
Jennifer: oooh, last meals! That is even MORE fascinating!
Cari: no nook furniture yet. Finding the right thing has been a Major Challenge.
Thanks for sharing your photos. Love ’em. And feel free to complain as often and as loudly as you like! You are entitled.
I never have thought about “what would my last statement be, for the record, if faced with imminent death.” I’d have to think about that one for a while. You should pose that question to your commenters someday, I’d like to hear what others would answer.
Really nice house.
Your place looks amazing! Am very jealous.
LOVE. IT. Gorgeous. Totally worth the trouble. (Easy for me to say considering I didn’t live through it) It really looks wonderful Linda, I’m so happy for you!
I’m currently looking at my upper cabinet-less, pantryless, hole in the ceiling kitchen. There’s a MOUNTAIN of crap in my living room on a wire storage rack (thanks for the idea, btw) and a rather thick coat of drywall dust. But it’s happening! Cabinetry and new island will be delivered on November 23rd! WOOOOOOT! Looking at photos of your finished product has me REALLY excited for the completion of my (much smaller in scale to your remodel/addition) kitchen remodel.
The house looks awesome! We have also been doing some work and it seems like it’s never going to end. Please send cookies.
The new addition looks great! Jay wants to know if that’s a PC in your office and, if so, why such filth is allowed in such a pretty place?? I told him maybe it’s a Mac mini with a PC monitor? He would be satisfied, I think, if the machine were running something suitably geeky like Linux.
What can I say that hasn’t been said already? Your home looks wonderful. Thanks for sharing!
My last words would probably be a frantic recitation of all the things that I do and how to do them, since no one knows.
Remodel looks great! Maybe porta-potty is free gift with purchase?
That website with the prisoner’s last statements is pretty interesting, I also think the last meals are even MORE interesting!
Linda your house looks awesome!! It’s all cozy and inviting.
I love the new couch too.
Congratulations! It is totally beautiful and original and personal-looking. And photogenic!
I hope it isn’t your last words on the subject because I really want to know which paint colors you ended up going with! Also, what are the colors on the two walls behind the den/family room couch? I love them!
The house looks awesome. I bet you are totally relieved to have it all done! Fixing up the office for Riley will be totally easy compared to all you’ve already been through!
The remodel came out beautiful! And I absolutely love the sectional in the new family room…I’m a big fan of things with contrasting textures.
I’m also strangely fascinated with all things prison (my husband just sighs and shakes his head each time he comes home to find me completely engrossed in an episode of Lockdown…especially since he knows that means a whole night of me explaining the intricate details of the gang structure at the Alaskan state penitentiary). Anyway, I found the last statements and last meal websites so interesting. Anybody else find it amusing that a very large percentage these people included french fries in their last meals….but I probably would too!
and believe it or not it was cheaper than buying a bigger place
I never thought of it that way but it does make sense. I’ll have to use that logic with Hubby should I ever want to have my own Remodeling Bitchfest. Your house looks gorgeous, btw.
Love it. Love it. Love it so much.
I just read Actual Innocence, about the Innocence Project and cases that they’ve taken on where people were found not guilty by DNA testing. It’s terrifying.
In other news, your house looks great. That kitchen is beautiful!
It looks fantastic. I’m jealous, since we’re still undergoing the Addition from Hell.
Everything is SO beautiful!! Congrats on being done.
How do you keep the hardwood floors so fabulous looking with Cat and Dog sharing the premises?
It’s beautiful. I love it. And, your wall of windows is to die for. It’s good that you don’t ever have to leave. :)
Remodel looks awesome!
Don’t mess with Texas, indeed.
The house looks amazing. Makes me look forward to and scared of some housing projects we have planned! The lube – UMM, yuck. Is also makes me YEARN for an Ikea nearby (flippin’ Indy is big enough now, isn’t it? I hate the though of spending three times as much to stay in Chicago to buy some cheap ass Swedish furniture from Ikea!)
AND OMG that death row thing… 1st HOW ON EARTH DO YOU FIND THIS STUFF!??! 2nd, it is oddly sad and freaky to read those esp. from the young young guys (27-28…)
Your house looks beautiful and I am jealous of the housing marked there because I am from Michigan, where EVERTHING sucks right now!!!!
Wow! Your house is bad ass! I too am handy and profane, JB and I would have a geekfest conversation about power tools and scuba diving I’m sure, (guess he has space for all that in the garage now, no more broken toes! Yay!)
I’ve been reading the death row, last meal, last words websites for awhile, and all I can say is yes. God bless Texas.
Also LOVE the colors you painted, your rooms really are dramatic….gorgeous.
A good before and after post is all it takes to make my day. Thank you.
And congrats on the house, it looks beautiful and you have excellent taste. Except WHERE ARE THE TOYS? And HOW ARE YOU HIDING THEM SO DAMN WELL?
Please help. Our family room looks like Fisher Price threw up all over it.
YAY! Congrats – you must be so relieved. .And it came out beautifully, too.
The house is beautiful. Kudos to you and your family for surviving the remodel.
One question: How do you keep your house so clean? I am jealous.
Thanks, you guys! Re: cleanliness of house, I picked up a metric shitload of toys and swept off clutter-laden surfaces before taking those photos. Believe me, it hardly ever looks like that.
I love your house! We have the same taste in interior design + furniture choices. When I think of my dream home, it resembles what your place looks like. BRAVO!
JB should build Dog her own castle in the backyard since he’s so handy with wood. She deserves it. HUH HUH HUH HUH handy with wood.
So, um, can I have your house when you die? Please? It is so gorgeous. And I could never arrange it all to look as loverly as it does. Seriously, the remodeling hell? It was absolutely worth it. It looks fan-fucking-tastic.
It looks as if you can now sit back and take a look around with a nice “it was SOOO worth it” expression. The place looks great! Congrats!
Also – I just spent my lunch hour reading offenses and last statements, looking at photos and trying to determine if this person looks like a criminal. Time will tell if this was in actuality a very bad decision on my part for the sake of digestion. Gulp. I cannot look away, I just keep reading more and more… anyone else overwhelmed by the sheer number and/or how often these criminals are put to death?
So cute, can you tell us what the colors are? I really like the brown you went with for the accent wall.
Gorgeous! It looks like it was totally worth all of the aggravation. I’m completely jealous.
The house look beautiful! I love the fall colors outside the windows. By the way, I had a friend in high school whose mom was murdered along with her sister, my friend managed to escape, anyway the guy that did it is on the Texas prison link you sent.. how wierd!
The addition looks amazing! I am more jealous now than I was before. We considered adding on, but would have had to sell our first born child to finance it. Instead we are reallocating space and doing a small scale remodel of a few rooms. Hopefully we can then sell before the market completely tanks and move into a house that needs just as much work, if not more. Oh the joys.
Your house is absolutely gorgeous and you have great taste. I especially love your front room and the great windows, and your kitchen is just fantastic! Oh, and the floors? Don’t even get me started on the beautiful floors…
I was going to ask how you kept that front room warm, but you addressed it later in the entry, implying that it’s freezing. We have a front room like that with about half the windows and it’s freezing all winter too. A fire does not much. This year we’re trying plastic on the windows too. I stress over this because my baby’s due in 2 weeks, I don’t want him to become a popsicle! It’s our only ‘living area’.
Beautiful house. It’s amazing, and I can’t imagine how much it appraised for.
Your house looks amazing! I’m so impressed with the remodel! Great job & I’m happy for you that it’s over & you can enjoy it now. Maybe you can train Dog to use mysterious porta-potty?
House looks absolutely awesome, yay for the remodel being finished :)
And now I’m going to be distracted at work reading final words and meals…at least it’s friday and everyone else is slacking off too!
Gorgeous remodel. It looks fantastic!
The last statements were creepy. As in, I was gonna go out for a jog this afternoon, but I think I’ll just sit at home. The younger ones seemed to have more to say, and were sad to read.
You just never know what to expect from Sundry!
Awesome house, btw and IKEA opens in my town 11/14. woohoo!