Oh hi there, it’s ME AGAIN, just doing the blog equivalent of blathering nervously out loud while I drum my fingers, chew my bottom lip, and that annoying sound from 24 plays in my head: tink . . . tink . . .

I thought there was a good chance I’d get ushered over to Labor & Delivery today, since they had me scheduled for another blood pressure test at 10 AM and hey, you know one thing that I bet sends people’s blood pressure skyrocketing, it’s knowing that the results of the test could send you straight to the operating room, but no, everything was totally fine. Whew, I guess. Except truthfully I was sort of hoping we might just get the ball rolling instead of waiting all weekend and getting progressively more FREAKED THE HELL OUT.

I have now packed my hospital bag twice, so by Monday I should have this whole routine down cold and will have have strategized the right amount of stuff to bring. Camera battery: yes; two different kinds of perfume: no.

A nurse presented me with some sort of hardcore antibacterial soap and instructed me to wash from the neck down on both Sunday night and Monday morning, then she paused, perhaps assessing my intellect and finding it lacking, and told me not to use it in my hair (duh) or inside my lady parts (no KIDDING, really? Because I was planning to really have a go at myself with a turkey baster and maybe a Magic Eraser). She also reminded me not to shave my own belly, an activity which I had not considered but once she mentioned it I instantly started wondering who would need to do so and just how thick and luxurious their belly-pelt might be.

Aside from any last-minute labor shenanigans, we’re now supposed to show up at the hospital at 6 AM on Monday, at which point we’ll probably sit around in some bleak-ass waiting room for about a thousand hours while I get progressively more despondent about that whole no eating past midnight pre-op thing. I’ll post something on Sunday about where/when you might find some baby news on Monday, stay tuned.

So tell me (DISTRACT ME), what are your plans for the weekend? Are you doing anything in particular for the Superbowl? Me, I don’t much care about the teams playing, but it seems like a fine excuse for eating a bowl of nachos the size of my head.

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Cassandra
15 years ago

I don’t exactly care about the Super Bowl…
However, the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet is fun to tune into for a while.

There is a kitty cat half time show, after all…

Good luck with Monday morning… hopefully they’re not booked.

Shelly
15 years ago

Where will Riley be while you’re laboring?

I’ll be thinking of you this weekend.

warcrygirl
15 years ago

Saturday my Tiger Den and I will be distributing placards/door hangers for Scouting for Food, then I’ll head over to my church to take some portraits of two of the other dens (apparently, the others weren’t interested just yet?) As far as the Superbowl, I don’t plan to watch because I don’t want the Pats to win but there’s NO WAY I’m rooting for Eli Manning (even though his brother is my NFL Boyfriend). So, football: no. Hotwings: YES.

PattM
PattM
15 years ago

Belly pelt–new word of the day! Thanks!

I’ll keep you in mind Monday–it will be about 8 am my time and I’ll just be sitting down to a cup of coffee at work.

Weekend plans include finish shoveling driveway, launder every piece of clothing in the house, then finally, go to my SIL’s and eat myself silly.

Best of luck!

stephanie brown
stephanie brown
15 years ago

my parents are having a superbowl party. but i’m the lucky one that gets to transport about 20 teens to raleigh to have a huge superbowl with about 3 churches all together. should be fun :)

Dana
Dana
15 years ago

Well, since you asked…

Tonight my younger sister is celebrating her 26th birthday at some bar? club? not sure, called Porkys in NYC. She told me that I WOULD HAVE been invited, had I not been 8 months pregnant. Cute. So, I invited some other pregnant neighbors to my house to order food in and scare the delivery boy when we all rush to the door with our outreached fat fingers.

Tomorrow, I have been deemed un-pregnant enough (?) to join my family at a restaurant for dinner for that bitch’s birthday. She asked me to make the reservations for 6:30, but has been telling the rest of the family that *I* made them that early because of that fucking pregnancy that she loves to make fun of and the fact that I can’t stay up past 8. She may be right, but whatever.

Then, on Sunday, since I live in NJ, I am being forced to attend a Superbowl Party with my husband. Do you realize that the game doesn’t even start until 6:30 p.m. for the home states (or “region”) of both teams??!! What the hell? Anyway, I’ll probably eat my weight in pigs in the blanket and then fall asleep on their couch.

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

Maybe some cooking, maybe the beach, maybe some Superbowl stuff…

ALSO:

I will be keeping my fingers crossed for youz guyz! I hope the wait isn’t much of a wait at all. Everyone is so excited for

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

Maybe some cooking, maybe the beach, maybe some Superbowl stuff…

ALSO:

I will be keeping my fingers crossed for youz guyz! I hope the wait isn’t much of a wait at all. Everyone is so excited for the new arrival!!!

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

sorry about the stupid duplicate…

Kim
Kim
15 years ago

Besides the usual weekend reading/chores/Netflix, I will be awaiting any and all news from you!!!
Godspeed (what does that mean, anyway?) and may the force be with you. And also the pain meds.

lisa-marie
15 years ago

Since the Packers aren’t playing I don’t really care about the SuperBowl. Bah humbug! However, I do have a friend coming into town this evening, and she is staying the whole weekend, so I’m sure to do something fun – shopping, wine tasting, a trip to Avila Beach (weather permitting) … who knows? But it’ll be awesomely fun!

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

Since reading one of your previous blogs, I might just be making a Gooey Butter Cake! While you’re stressing away, I will be volunteering as an RDA for the Smiles for Kids program. We see low-income kids and do as much free dental work as possible. It’s kind of sad, but also gratifying. Then off to a photo class while mom-in-law watches the kiddos…then I might just take off, leave the hubbo at home alone with the boys and go see a movie. No football plans at all! hang in there….we’re very excited to meet the newbie!

Shelly
15 years ago

OMG, belly pelt? Lady parts? I have BOTH…..how funny! How disconcerting is the pelt?

McWriter
15 years ago

I’ll be attending McCashew’s first birthday party. I can’t believe our Sweet Caroline is only a year old, though, I don’t remember my life without her gummy grin and delightful disposition. Yea, baby parties. Yippee, cake!

Good luck with YOUR baby party!

P.S. How does the henna look now?

MotherGooseAmy
MotherGooseAmy
15 years ago

Sesame Street LIVE tonight! You jealous? Wait, no… HOW jealous are you??? And to make it even sound that more enticing… we’re driving to downtown DETROIT in a BLIZZARD to see ELMO. yippie!

No Superbowl party invites this year. I could care less about the Superbowl, but I can tell you that I’d smile if the Giants beat the pants off the Patriots because no team deserves to have a PERFECT season and then a superbowl vicotry. That is a parade that must be pissed upon. Also… Tom Brady went to Michigan, which is the archrival of my alma mater.

sara
sara
15 years ago

Typically a lurker, but I wanted a reason to shout from the mountain tops that I am a glutton and I’m eating Dreyer’s Loaded Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup ice cream from the carton with a serving spoon. And? i’m not even pregnant. Having said that -go get yourself some. It’s freaking good.

This weekend: baking a cake (yes, there is a food theme in my home, body, heart and soul and yes, my ass does proclaim it loudly) for my mom’s birthday. I have never made this cake she requested (poppyseed with raspberry filling and cream cheese frosting) and I’m making it from scratch. I love adventures like this! I also have to clean the house a buttload since my parents are coming here for said cake and dinner (we’re ordering that out – you’ll quickly learn that you no longer go out to eat with two kids (mine are both under 2). Are you bored yet? Maybe some picture hanging/decorating/posting of goods on Craig’s List. Playing My Sims on the wii for sure. And maybe guitar hero. and oh yeah, taking care of the two under two year olds. the good news about the second child is that he learns to fend for himself QUITE a bit.

good luck on Monday! Can’t wait to hear the babies name and see his cutie pie face.

Tanya
15 years ago

I am going to a friends house for the Superbowl, and while the game will be shown on the tv, mostly we will be playing board-games and I will be gorging myself on pizza.

Michelle
15 years ago

We wanted to take R sledding but the doomsday weatherman was INCORRECT about the 10 inches of snow predicted for our area. Incorrect by about 10 inches. And sadness, no Sesame Street Live here for SIX WEEKS. So I guess I’ll… clean the bathrooms.

Jamie
15 years ago

Ha ha ha ha Belly Pelt ha ha ha!
You don’t have to be on magnesium this time do you? Good luck Monday!

My weekend plans include sending my 2.5 year old downstairs with his daddy and other guests who will be over to watch the superbowl while I lay in the bathtub upstairs and read a magazine.

M.A.
15 years ago

Whoa boy… home stretch, eh? I won’t fill you with platitudes — you know it all — except maybe this: Fentanyl! I hope they give you at least an appertif of something fun. Something that won’t cross the placental (word?) barrier, or, if it does, maybe, who cares? (ducking from all the health care professionals and Moms who are slinging me dirty looks) Ahem.

This weekend I am heading up north to the Roaring Tundra of Up North (in lower Michigan) for a family party — it will be fun, full of mirth, and the usual family politics. On Sunday we will join my husband’s (excuse-me-but-they-are) low brow friends for the Superbowl game, during which all of the females are RAPT and “SHHHHHHH-ing” during commercials while the guys talk about how awesome the last play was and “Did you see that dude’s collar bone?! Come THROUGH his pads? Dude. How cool was that?” I’ll be thinking about you as I dip a hot wing first in ranch, then in blue cheese, then in honey mustard. I don’t think it’s “double dipping” if you haven’t actually put it in your mouth first, right? Right.

Love and hugs to you, JB, Riley, and soon-to-be-named Smaltipus — MA

alli
15 years ago

I have absolutely no plans, especially in the bowl or super field, except a weigh-in at Weight Watchers.

Liz
Liz
15 years ago

Um, I have a belly pelt. *hangs head in shame*

Plans for the weekend? The Mistah and I are going on a DATE tonight. We’re going to the movies. Except we’re seeing different movies. That’s hawt!

Superbowl? I’ll be lying in bed watching re-runs of the Surreal Life or something.

Good luck!

Sarah
15 years ago

Ah, Linda. You had me at belly-pelt.

I’ll be thinking great thoughts for you guys this weekend. And I’ll never look at a Magic Eraser the same way again.

Sunny
Sunny
15 years ago

I wish our hospitals were closer. After fracturing my ankle earlier this week (I knew I was up shit creek when the orthopedist looked at my xrays and said, “Damn, that must have HURT!”), the swelling has gone down enough for them to put 2 pins and a plate in my ankle. After that, it’s 4-6 weeks of good times on crutches. Did I mention we have snow and ice? Woo Hoo! At least I can pass my time with some oxycodone. I doubt your OBGYN has that little goodie in your pre-surgery routine. Scrub well!

Angstia
15 years ago

My only plans involve talking to people who want me to tell them it’s okay to drive on roads that are obviously treacherous.

Caller: Is it okay to drive to Big City 120 miles away to shop? How are the roads?

Me: I don’t know, I can’t see them because they’re covered in snow.

ARGH.

Here’s hoping your weekend brings significantly less frustration.

biscuit
biscuit
15 years ago

I’m having a baby this weekend! FINALLY! I am nervous, but excited as hell to be induced. I can’t wait to meet the lil’ sock monkey girl baking inside my ginormous belly. . . which has NO hair on it. I’m very thankful for lack of belly pelt since I’m super sweaty hairless.

I love the fact I won’t be forced to watch the Super Bowl, I have the best excuse ever. :)

Jess
15 years ago

Every time your post pops up in my Google Reader, I get twitchy. I can only imagine how you feel.

Anyway, this weekend will be spent in a frenzy of cleaning for our first-ever Super Bowl party. It was just going to be a couple of friends and somehow it turned into eleven people. I’m still not sure how we’re going to fit them all into our living room.

Jessie
15 years ago

My plans sound incredibly like yours: eating a plate of nachos the size of my head during the superbowl. Also working a little, knitting, and possibly venturing out to work on our baby registry.

fairydogmother
15 years ago

I will be spending the next couple of days trying to forgive my dog for making me chase him around the neighborhood for a fucking hour earlier this morning/afternoon. Apparently he developed a sudden case of temporary amnesia and no longer recognized his name or the commands “come” or “right here”. Little fucker.

I guess that will remind me not to take him in the car without putting his seatbelt harness on, even for a quick trip to the pharmacy down the block, since that would have been much easier to grab onto during one of his many, many fly by’s.

Now he is all muddy, sleeping on the towels I covered up the living room carpet with, with the loop of his leash anchored down by the leg of the very heavy coffee table because I am entirely too tired to give him a bath quite yet.

As for Sunday I am entirely uninterested in the Super Bowl, although I wouldn’t mind eating a plate of nachos the size of my head!

Amy M.
Amy M.
15 years ago

Good luck at the hospital!

Belly pelt made me giggle.

I’ll be celebrating Vic’s 2nd birthday with a hazelnut apricot Elmo cake. Maybe I’ll even share some with him.

Coleen
15 years ago

Tonight, my boyfriend and I are having dinner at my nana’s house, and then we’re driving down the shore (Jersey shore) for the weekend. We shall fulfill our geek quotient by attending both the Atlantic City Power Boat Show as well as the Ripley’s Believe It or Not! Museum. We shall then temper the geekitude with some gambling and booze.

Thinking about you this weekend! Come on, Smallotopus!

Carolyn
15 years ago

LOL belly pelt HA HA HA HA HA

that would be so much funnier if my own belly were hairless as Mr. Bigglesworth. Alas…well anyway.

Being in CT, half my large family are Giants fans, half are pats fans, so we decided to bring them together here and let the fun begin. I will not be watching the game with any great interest, but eating my weight in guacamole which, let me ASSURE you, is an impressive amount of guacamole indeed.

Also, waxing my belly pelt.

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA…ha…heh…

*sigh*

Good luck! Can’t wait to check back next week and see the little guy!

Kate
Kate
15 years ago

None of my us are Super Bowl people, but I am on board with the gigantic nacho idea.

Good luck on Monday! We will all be so excited to see and hear all about the new little Smalltopus.

Becky
Becky
15 years ago

I will be flying solo this weekend with my 10 week old boy…big plans are to go to the mall and spend some $$$$ on some new bare minerals…fun times!

leenie
15 years ago

i’m starting off the weekend with cocktails, a play and dancing tonight, and then after that? eh. probably not cleaning my house.
hooray weekend!
and mostly, hooray baby!

Amy
Amy
15 years ago

*snort* BELLY PELT. You just made my day.

I am a rabid Patriots fan, and even though I’m currently banished to the land of nobody-cares-about-sports (Central CA), I’ve found a couple of people who are willing to come over and pig out on nachos and pizza while I alternately swoon and yell at the television. :)

Pam
Pam
15 years ago

Anxiety makes you twice as funny as you usually are! Oh do I remember the waiting for the scheduled cesarean, hating every minute of it because every minute felt like 2 but then, on like the second day when I was ALONE with the baby in my hospital room with milk that was morally opposed to letting down? I sorta missed the waiting part, just a little :)
I’m in a cabin in N. Georgia with my family on vacation but obediently and sort of obsessively checking in on you. For super bowl? I’m making chili, Pioneer Woman’s broiled French bread and cream cheese stuffed jalapeños because my life is nothing without the internet, clearly.
Good luck on Monday. I will be reminiscing about how wonderful that newborn smell is. Ahhhhhhhh!!!

Mandee
15 years ago

Nothing exciting planned, but I’ll do anything to help distract a pregnant woman anticipating her C-Section. My nephew is just a little older than Riley and I remember my sister’s manic activity in the few days before he was born.

I will be cleaning out my house in anticipation of hopefully listing it very soon. Will probably take the dog for a walk or two–if only so I can clear some podcasts off my ipod. Church Sunday morning and watching the game solo that evening. Wings, guacamole? Not sure, but I’ll be sure to consume some sort of bar food.

Good luck on Monday!

Sadie
Sadie
15 years ago

I am actually a big football fan, and an even bigger Patriots fan (another Nutmegger – that’s a person from CT – like Carolyn above)…but I have crazy- Alzheimers’-grandma-duty from 2-6 on Sunday. If we don’t watch her she eats hand soap and falls a lot. So anyway it’s my turn to watch her so no Super Bowl parties for me…but kickoff is 6:30 here so I can hurry home in time to watch the game, and I am thinking nachos and chicken wings might be on my menu-for-one.

Please try to enjoy your last semi-restful weekend and eat everything naughty you can fit in your gullet. Can’t wait for baby news, and best wishes for an uneventful birth and healthy mom and bebeh!

Josie
15 years ago

My husband and our friend AJ are making dinner for AJ’s girlfriend and I. The theme is “olives.” I really hope the dessert is not theme related.

She Likes Purple
15 years ago

(Rental) house hunting, baby birthday party, a movie on Sunday, drinks tonight .

We’re all so excited for you. HOORAY FOR BABY.

clarabella
15 years ago

Good luck on Monday morning. It’ll be here before you know it. Happy scrubbing!

This weekend I will be playing with my son, trying not to cheat on my diet, trying to motivate myself to go to the gym, reading chapters of engineering dissertations (I LOVE my job) even though I’m an ENGLISH grad student.
As for the Super Bowl, I’m only interested in watching if the Pats get creamed. I guess I should route for Eli since I am currently a student at his alma mater and went to every game of his last season to route for the Rebels, but I think that pretty much settles any debt I have to him. I love football, but could care less about these two teams. But, I do get to go to a Party where there will be lots of food to cheat on my diet with. I’m also excited because there will be kids and my son hasn’t really gotten to hang out with other kids much since he started crawling (like 3 weeks ago). So moreso than the football game, I’m excited to see how my son will hold his own as a newly-MOBILE child.
Can’t wait to hear about STP. Hoping for a run-of-the-mill caesarian and a happy, healthy bouncing baby boy. At least you know he’ll be a cutie! Good luck!

Kristin C.
15 years ago

“belly-pelt”

I am DYING RIGHT NOW! That is the best! I’m totally using this phrase daily until my husband smacks me…I will use it in the most ridiculous an non-sensical ways. Just to say “belly-pelt”!

jeez. That was a good laugh.

Weekend plans= skiing in Wisconsin with Husband and saying belly-pelt.

Beth
15 years ago

This weekend? Oh, you know, sitting around, praying for labor.

Um, antibacterial soap? Really? I had a scheduled c-section with Mia and there was no antibacterial soap, nor any advice regarding hair removal.

Niki P.
Niki P.
15 years ago

Heh. Belly pelt. That’s plain funny. I date a guy who has a pelt but its on his chest and back. I call it the sweater vest. Good thing he’s cute (and he wears a size 15 shoe bow chicka bow wow!!)

ANYWAY I can’t wait to meet your new young man. You will be fine. Just fine. No pooping, puking or peeing.

Good luck!

Melissa
Melissa
15 years ago

We’re going to my brother-in-law’s house on Sunday to celebrate his birthday and watch some of the Super Bowl. And tomorrow we are heading down to check out places that we might rent for a week or so in the summertime! Crazy you have to book this stuff so far in advance but you do. Well if you have to wait another day or two at least there is ample time for nachos and such! :) Good luck!!

Kristen
Kristen
15 years ago

Oh Linda, how you make me laugh. I think I’m going to be giggling about turkey basters and belly pelt all weekend!
Can’t wait to see Riley’s new brother! Good luck on Monday.

Naomi the Strange
15 years ago

So you may find this amusing… one of my coworkers just asked me “Naomi what are you doing this weekend, having a superbowl party?” I was like, “Oh, it’s superbowl this weekend?” See, I have no clue about these things, nor do I care. But enjoy eating that head-sized bowl of nachos! LOL

Missy
15 years ago

I’m not much of a sports person, and at my friend’s annual super bowl party I became famous for sitting in the corner reading Rolling Stones backissues and JCrew catalogs while everyone else was absorbed in the game.

When my now-husband and I first started dating, I mentioned to him that we were invited to that party and he said, “Oh, is the super bowl this weekend?” That’s how I knew we were meant to be.

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