I was thinking about posting this photo with the caption “Toddler’s First Goatse” but then I thought to myself, self, just how fast do you want to go to hell anyway?

rilypic_081.jpg

Hey, how about we have us a photo namin’ contest? I mean, I’ve got this assembly-line brain drain going on from being stuck at home doing the same tasks over and over and over: feed baby, change baby, pry embedded LEGO from the arch of my foot, feed baby, change baby, run a load of 4828951 burp rags through the laundry, feed baby, change baby, fantasize about driving to the hospital in order to locate the nurse who scoldingly informed JB and I that bottle-fed babies should be able to go 4 hours between feedings and punching her in the face, etc, and really, I could use some fun distractions.

The rules are thusly: you post your best title idea in the comments section, and I’ll pick my favorite based on a complicated set of criteria involving a decision grid and Excel pivot table (what? Just because I don’t actually know what a pivot table is doesn’t mean I won’t use one). The winner receives a $50 Amazon gift certificate.

It’s just like Ree’s photo contests, except the prize is way less awesome! And the photo isn’t exactly frameworthy, either!

One entry per person, leave your email address so I know how to get in touch with you, contest ends sometime between tonight and tomorrow. Remember, crude porn references only send the parent to hell, not the impartial, innocent internet reader.

:::

UPDATE: contest now closed!

Comments

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Swistle
16 years ago

Hey, Henry has that same sleeper! Wait, that’s not my caption. Still thinking about the caption.

Denise
16 years ago

“No way! You’ll never believe what I just saw Bert and Ernie doing online!!!”

“Hey Mom! Did you know that there are people who like to f**k stuffed animals?!? I better hide my favorite octopus!”

I’m scared that my mind went dirty immediately. :)

Michelle
16 years ago

Riley caves to preschool pressure and gets first viewing of “2 girls 1 sippy cup”.

JennB
JennB
16 years ago

“I had no idea that Daddy and Mommy could move in THAT way!!!”

“Why is daddy doing that to Mommy?”

“Hey! I found another venue for Elmo!”

Heh.
who knows.
jennb33 [at] gmail [dot] com

stephanie brown
stephanie brown
16 years ago

okay so i know the contest just started and all and that i am not even on the judges panel, but Michelle gets my vote…

Kim
Kim
16 years ago

I didn’t know THAT’S what they meant by a donkey show!

LauraH
16 years ago

I’m on yur blog…

…statin’ mys pinions…

Anais
16 years ago

1- “BRITNEY SPEARS DID WHAT, NOW?!?!?!”

2- “Holy cow, mom! If you take any more pictures of Dylan and I, your hard drive is gonna’ explode!”

Sadie
Sadie
16 years ago

Michelle totally ganked my train of thought – I was going right to “2 Girls 1 Cup.” Apparently I am an unoriginal bastard. Give me a moment, I’ll be back.

Justin
Justin
16 years ago

Mommy, those two girls just ate poo!

Connie
Connie
16 years ago

Mom! you can buy Legos on Ebay!

Anais
16 years ago

Oops, and my e-mail is: anaiscasamayor@gmail.com

WCD
WCD
16 years ago

“Oooooh Mommy Dora’s biting Diego’s Weenie! Right HERE!!! LOOK!”

Anais
16 years ago

“I couldn’t have left that lego there. I was dead at the time!”

Another Amy
Another Amy
16 years ago

Captions, schmaptions. This is a painting emergency. I MUST know what that wall color is! (Because, dude. Seriously. I’ve spent all 4 of my days off staring at paint chips and I STILL haven’t picked a color. I should’ve been done by now!)

Sadie
Sadie
16 years ago

“Riley discovers QMov.com is totally FREE”

Kim in MT
16 years ago

“I had no idea Mom and Dad were into THAT!”

Jamie
16 years ago

I IN YR COMPUTR…
DELETIN’ MY SUSSPISHIN

ginger
ginger
16 years ago

I don’t know if I can beat the goatse one. Here goes:

“You made fun of me on the Internet? You are SO paying for my therapy.”

“There’s no Santa Claus?”

“Oh no, the fed cut interest rates again!”

“I can’t believe you and Daddy fudged the numbers on your capital losses in 2006!”

“Your viral protection hasn’t been updated since November!”

“You told me that Dylan came from the cabbage patch, but that’s not what your website says.”

“What does ‘Dirty Sanchez’ mean, Mommy?”

Kym
Kym
16 years ago

OMG I am in tears here laughing!! Please stop!!! LOL

thejunebug
16 years ago

Riley discovers his parents are hacks who purchased a NON-MAC KEYBOARD.

Mare
Mare
16 years ago

Whooooa! Elmo is getting TOO FEAKY!!

Becky
Becky
16 years ago

“What my blue slide is actually used for THAT?!?”

thejunebug
16 years ago

My husband’s contribution: “Riley discovers that Bert, Ernie, and Mr. Hooper’s ‘lemonparty’ involves much more than cake and Spongebob decorations.”

ewwww, he just broke my brain!

Eric's Mommy
16 years ago

Did you just see what that man did to that dolphin?

Carrie
16 years ago

“Oooooooooh! That was lubricating jelly on the counter in the bathroom? I thought it tasted like grape!”

And, I apologize for being gross. But it totally fit the expression of suprise.

Renee
16 years ago

“How can I ever eat chicken again?!?”

Shawnde
Shawnde
16 years ago

The true author of the witty Sundry Mourning blog is revealed.

Jen O.
16 years ago

“Oh, Mommy’s got a potty mouth! I’m so tellin’ Dad and Mommy’s gonna GET IT!”

Chris
Chris
16 years ago

Mommy, can you get me a set of these? They are so much bigger than yours!

Pete
Pete
16 years ago

Dad electrified the keyboard again Mom!

the goddess anna
the goddess anna
16 years ago

“What these eyes have seen cannot been unseen”

Okay, that’s my caption and I’m sticking to it. I love his expression, though. : )

Mim
Mim
16 years ago

My mommy has a BLOG!?

Nick
16 years ago

“Whoa! The internet IS a big truck!”

Kari
16 years ago

Excellent work, Michelle. I was going right for that, too, although your addition of “sippy cup” is way beyond my abilities.

Valria
16 years ago

Nuh Uh, its MYspace

Erica
16 years ago

“RIWWY TYPE! MOMMMMMMY WOOK! RIWWY TYPE! MOMMMMMEEEE!”

Claudia
16 years ago

“I wuz buying it for you! Really! Cuz I love you mommy!” myfreshhell at hotmail dot com.

Jamie
16 years ago

What is that guy doing to that dolphin!?

LJ
LJ
16 years ago

That looks like one of those perfect – “oooooh I’m telling – you’re gonna get in trouble!!!!!!!” pictures. Just wait till the boys get older…..

Karen
Karen
16 years ago

MOM! You told me babies come out of your tummy – but this ladies tummy is very low”

JennyM
JennyM
16 years ago

Well, since Michelle beat me to the 2 girls reference….

“The End of Innocence”

Leah
Leah
16 years ago

Toddler discovers e-mail – shocked to learn he, too, can gain three extra inches!

Lulu
Lulu
16 years ago

THAT’S WHAT DADDY’S BLUE PILLS DO?!?!

Jen K
Jen K
16 years ago

Oh. My. Gawd. Mommy, look at her butt!

Jenn Perryman
Jenn Perryman
16 years ago

“You TOLD them about that? TOO FWEAKY!”

Marilyn
16 years ago

“ZOMG! You been writinz about me on ur blogz?!”

Jenn
Jenn
16 years ago

hahaha Leah!

birdgal
birdgal
16 years ago

How did you figure out I was a Ninja?! Those weren’t even my ‘good’ ninja eyes!

Ida
Ida
16 years ago

“I told you I would tell the bloggers about this!”

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