I was thinking about posting this photo with the caption “Toddler’s First Goatse” but then I thought to myself, self, just how fast do you want to go to hell anyway?

rilypic_081.jpg

Hey, how about we have us a photo namin’ contest? I mean, I’ve got this assembly-line brain drain going on from being stuck at home doing the same tasks over and over and over: feed baby, change baby, pry embedded LEGO from the arch of my foot, feed baby, change baby, run a load of 4828951 burp rags through the laundry, feed baby, change baby, fantasize about driving to the hospital in order to locate the nurse who scoldingly informed JB and I that bottle-fed babies should be able to go 4 hours between feedings and punching her in the face, etc, and really, I could use some fun distractions.

The rules are thusly: you post your best title idea in the comments section, and I’ll pick my favorite based on a complicated set of criteria involving a decision grid and Excel pivot table (what? Just because I don’t actually know what a pivot table is doesn’t mean I won’t use one). The winner receives a $50 Amazon gift certificate.

It’s just like Ree’s photo contests, except the prize is way less awesome! And the photo isn’t exactly frameworthy, either!

One entry per person, leave your email address so I know how to get in touch with you, contest ends sometime between tonight and tomorrow. Remember, crude porn references only send the parent to hell, not the impartial, innocent internet reader.

:::

UPDATE: contest now closed!

Comments

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Lisa
Lisa
14 years ago

“This Mac is effing awesome.”

Jilly
14 years ago

“You said THAT about Steve Irwin?!!

:p

Ash
Ash
14 years ago

WOW MUMMY! did you fart?

(i thought i would post something that has nothing to do with the computer, as he is looking at you… not it. i also get the same reaction from my god sister when her brother farts in front of her)

Loving the pic BTW

pippa
14 years ago

You and Daddy have done WHAT on my slide????

pippa
14 years ago

Dang. Posted BEFORE I read that everyone else already referenced the slide. Got nuthin’. Returns to cave.

Kristen
Kristen
14 years ago

It’s between a minority & a woman?!

(That’s excitement, not disgust!!!)

Audrey
14 years ago

Mooooommm! Why did you tell the internets all that stuff about me?!

Sunshyn
14 years ago

Help! My mommy is really a ZOMBIE!

sunshynsdaydreams at yahoo

Emma
Emma
14 years ago

Even if she doesn’t get the voucher, Michelle totally wins the internet for that caption.

Well it made me laugh… :)

Jen
Jen
14 years ago

“Mommy! Did you see Daddy just jump that fence??”

[from the infamous fence-jumping photo, of course]

Dynamita
Dynamita
14 years ago

Mine:
“Ok, bitch, one more joke about me and your blog is gone”

My husband’s:
“HornyStallion05 looks for busty chick under 4”

(that bitch thing is for comedic effect obviously, bitch)

Louise
14 years ago

“I can’t believe that Mom just wrote that about me…and I’m supposed to be the favorite son!!!”

louise2dean@telus.net

Chloe
14 years ago

Heh! I’m glad you checked out that link to Pioneer Woman. It seemed like a site that you would enjoy, too. I don’t know how I didn’t know about it until a few weeks ago.

Um… I’m having a brain fart, so I’ll go caption-free for this contest. Maybe if you have another one in the future (with less entries before mine LOL), I’ll have enough brain power to think up a decent one. All the ones I’ve read are AWESOME, though.

dickbrain
dickbrain
14 years ago

lol

Sara
14 years ago

“Ninja baby… feelz less stellthy.”

Sara
14 years ago

DAMNIT. As SOON as I posted that, I thought of something better. Please ignore my previous submission and favor this one:

“NINJA BABEEZ COVER:

U BLEW IT.”

Naomi in Oz
14 years ago

“You’re buying me a MacBook Air? You are the coolest Mom EVER!!!!”
naomitree2003@yahoo.com.au

Naomi in Oz
14 years ago

“Hey Mommy!!!! I won I won I won I won!!!!!
I won that really lame photo contest you’re running!!!!

Mari
Mari
14 years ago

Hey Mom! Killer sale at Toys-R-Us today!!

Kristin
14 years ago

I am way too unclever to think of a witty caption, but I just wanted to say that Riley has the best. facial. expressions. ever.

Amy
Amy
14 years ago

“Oh sh!t! I hit reply all!”

HollowSquirrel
14 years ago

dude. Now my photo contests are ranked even lower. Where do you guys GET the money for these prizes? shit.

Matt
14 years ago

“Mom, I told you to KNOCK FIRST!!”

Kirsten
Kirsten
14 years ago

‘That girl on my Facebook showed her front bottom!’

Christian ODell
14 years ago

1. “Thank Jebus, she came in after I tossed that sock under the desk.”

2. “Why does daddy have so many lady friends on the ‘puter?”

3. “I can haz porn?”

4. “Ooooh, jubblies! (Yelling) Moooom, where’s my baby lotion?”

Julia
Julia
14 years ago

“KING FIVE LOCAL NEWS HAS A WEBSITE? OHHHHH! I LOVE THE INTERNETS!!”

Ellen
Ellen
14 years ago

Mai shokd face, let me show you it.

Danell
Danell
14 years ago

Oh, no caption here because I will be too busy SCRUBBING MY EYES WITH CLOROX after looking up “goatse”…and I don’t think I want to check any further into the “two girls” reference either…GAH.

warcrygirl
14 years ago

“Hey, what does this button do? UH OH!”

Cali911Gal
Cali911Gal
14 years ago

Caption: “Holy shit, Mom! Brittney’s wearing panties!!!!”

K
K
14 years ago

Oh, snap! Mom put parental controls on my internet!

Lora
Lora
14 years ago

“I’ll finish your blog so you can relax and have some ice cream.. love you mommy!”

Naomi in Oz
14 years ago

And based on your Love of all things Simpsons:
“I didn’t do it, you didn’t see me do it, you can’t prove anything”

Sue
Sue
14 years ago

OMG! The are all so funny!

“What is happening in my diaper?”

P.S. I am so not going to google goatse for fear that someone will see my history… so will someone please tell me?! ;)