Nov
16
Me: “Um, what the hell is this?”
JB: “What?”
Me: “This. On the sofa. The trap you left me. Where if I sit down next to those pillows a clawed foot will come out and hook me.”
JB: “That’s not a trap. I made a hive for Cat.”
Me: “A . . . cat hive.”
JB: “Yes. A cat hive.”
Me: “Cats don’t have hives.”
JB: “Well what else would you call that?”
Me: “A TRAP.”
JB: “It’s clearly a hive.”
Me: “I will ask my blog readers and if the consensus is that it’s a trap, you owe me twenty bucks.”
JB: “What do I get if they say it’s a hive?”
Me: “What do you think you should get?”
JB: *knowing leer*
The time for voting is NOW. Trap or hive?
(ETA: I’ve closed comments so I can laboriously tally the data. Thanks for your vote! Remember Cat in November!)
Nov
15
Reason #290583 I love Warren Ellis:
“Hi. I’m your host, I’m out of my brain with exhaustion, and I’m going to be seriously polluting your inbox for the next few days. Think of this email as a vast ethereal Mind Penis, spasming like a dying pig and hawking up great steaming discoloured bucketloads of Brain Semen into the tender womblike cavity behind your eyes. And when it gets too much, it will leak out of your tear ducts, and your friends will say, how is it that you are crying Warren’s Brain Semen?”—from his November 8 Bad Signal email newsletter, titled “Seriously”.
Is it wrong that I consider both Anne Tyler and Warren Ellis to be my personal writing heroes? I wonder what would happen if you got them in the same room. Other than the unholy rift in the space-time continuum, of course.
I have no good segue from that little intro, so let’s just casually move on to the subject of zombies, and my fierce, undying (HAR!) love for them. Zombies have been (feasting) on my mind lately, starting last Saturday night when in JB’s absence I happily settled in for an evening of 28 Weeks Later. Just me and a dark room and my giant belly and about an hour of wide-eyed pre-bedtime lock-checking.
That is one satisfying horror movie, I must say. I liked it when we saw it in the theater, but I think I may have liked it even more on a second viewing. I highly recommend it for the first teeth-grinding twenty minutes alone.
While 28 Weeks Later is not technically a zombie movie (Nerdy Zombie Clarification: they’re afflicted by the rage virus, they’re not dead), it kick-started my zombie-lovin’ heart, and I immediately started reading the first few collections of The Walking Dead, which is a comic a few of you have suggested. And now I am going to go broke collecting the whole damn series, because what happens next? I MUST KNOW.
I also read The Road, which kept me up for two nights biting my fingernails and blinking back tears and generally becoming way too involved in the story’s main characters. This is not a zombie book, exactly, but it involves a nightmarish post-apocalyptic world where some of the few remaining humans have become monsters, and there’s this man and his young son traveling the dying land, and oh my god it is so good. There is horror, and faith, and inhumanity, and love, and despair, and hope, and—listen, you should read it. Bring tissues.
Lastly, there is Fido, which is a sort of zombie comedy set in the 50’s. With Carrie Ann Moss. It is really, really weird, and sort of surprisingly non-sucky. I think I enjoyed this more for the nearly fetishistic attention to detail they put into the set designs than anything else.
Oh and ALSO, here are some cool zombie-related things some of you have alerted me to:
• Grody knitted brain purse!
• Zombie plate and mug set!
• Intramural zombie hunter shirt!
• Human meat cut diagram shirt!
• Zombie escape plan journal!
Okay, I think that concludes my periodic declaration of zombie-love. Until next time, remember: always aim for the head.
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