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Jan
29
First of all, if any of you are also currently eating from the Fuckit Bucket, may I most sincerely recommend making yourself a Gooey Butter Cake. Take that sumbitch out of the oven about 10 minutes early, too, so it’s really gooey. Sure, you might need to go at it with a spoon rather than a fork, but that’s a small price to pay for putting the dessert equivalent of a full-body massage (WITH “happy ending”) in your mouth.
Also, please to be appreciating my fancy toes:
Sorry, I should have warned you before just sticking my feet all up in your face like that. I know some people are thoroughly skeeved by feet just like some people get weird lustful toe-boners and I hope you fall into the foot camp I’m in, which can basically be described as: Feet Are Benign Objects That Neither Call Me With Their Sexy Siren Song Nor Make Me Dry-Heave In Disgust.
That polish will probably be there six months from now, sadly. Oh, and I did look for Engorged Labia in my color choices but had to settle for whatever this was called — From Russia With Love, I think? Something wacky like that; makeup product managers must love it when they’re allowed to venture out of the “Peachy Keen” box.
The actual application-of-color part of a manicure or pedicure is nice enough, but it’s really all about the wonderful things they do to you beforehand, especially if you spring for the spa variety and get the bubbly foot soak and all. I even like the semi-terrifying paraffin dip, where you purposefully put your extremities in boiling-hot wax for reasons I’ve never understood yet still enjoy.
So I had my wonderful mani/pedi, and today I got my hair trimmed — just enough to put some longevity in the cut, I hope — and now I can focus on the important business of slothing around for the rest of the week. I’m going to read trashy magazines and surf all of your websites (heLLO, could you maybe update more often?) and make half-hearted attempts to make sure the house is ready for a baby and that we’ve put away all the bear traps and jugs of poison etc and will in all likelihood continue to mysteriously attract trolls at ParentDish while writing the most vanilla, non-contentious mommyblog entries on earth.
Also, there will be Gooey Butter Cake. Quite a lot of it, I’m afraid.
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83 Responses to “Dispatch from the bucket”
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Eureka Enviro Floor Steamer.
Why did I not buy this YEARS ago? WHY? OH MY GOD MY LIFE IS FOREVER CHANGED.
Neutrogena Healthy Skin Clear Skin Cream.
Maaaajor difference in my skin since I started using this. I alternate with Pond's so my face doesn't get too dried out.
Magic Bullet.
I use this almost every single day to make a smoothie. Really a surprisingly awesome little kitchen tool.
Neutrogena Revitalizing Lip Balm.
Amazing lip balm that gives natural color and somehow makes your lips look more full.
Voluspa Candle.
Discovered via Jennie. These candles smell wonderful (at least the Goji/Orange scent does), and I love the pretty tin.
NARS Flamenco Lipstick.
Whoorl was right, this is the perfect red lipstick.
Wow, that gooey cake actually looks good. At first I wasn’t sure, but I clicked on the link and yes, it does indeed look like something I’d greatly enjoy shoveling in my eager little mouth. :) Cute toes. Love the color. Have fun this week, I hope bebe comes soon! One of my friends is due any second now, too, and she can’t wait to push her lil’ man out. Well, I imagine she’s not too excited about the actual giving birth part, but she is excited about not being pregnant anymore and finally meeting the lil’ guy…
God, woman, aren’t 9-month pregnant feet usually waterlogged lumps bursting the seams of shoes at this stage? Look at those slender feet. They look like they belong to a Manolo model.
(My feet would look like they’d been gobbling gooey butter cake for several months.)
With your hennaed belly, beautiful toes, and manicured hair you’re going to be a star in the delivery room.
Enjoy the week ahead!
Very cute toenail polish! I just did an at-home pedicure for myself (for I am cheap, oh so cheap) with a similar shade of red. The best part about pedicures is the color really does last forever, so hopefully you will still be rockin’ the red polish long after the Smalltopus has arrived and left you no time for foot fancifying.
(Also! The parent dish people! OMG! O-M-Effing-G, with the pet stores!)
I was thinking the same about your non-puffy feet. Amazing.
I had the same toenail colour the last time I had mine done.
Enjoy this next week, and the baby to come :)
Jeez… make me feel guilty already for not having updated my blog in weeks.
My last pedicure was the weekend before my c-section. My son is now three months old and all I have left is a sad little square of color on my big toes. You’d think I could at least summon the energy to get some polish remover out, but yeah.
I’m also impressed to see the bone structure in your feet. Mine were looked like overstuffed sausages after like week 12 of pregnancy.
Enjoy the cake and your week, you SO deserve it!
lovely toe-nail polish. one of my favorite things about our delivery room pictures is that you can see my perfectly manicured nails, on my hands and feet. i definitely think it’s a pre-birth must!
good luck relaxing and gooey-cake eating this week.
Gooey butter cake is a St. Louis tradition– it’s available in every grocery store around here, as a matter of course. And yes, it is UNBELIEVABLY delicious. It never occured to me that I could make it at home (it’s at best a once yearly kind of thing, because super fatty? ABSOLUTELY)… which is definitely a good thing. I need to not look at that recipe ever again, because it looks super easy. Goddammit, I’m going to add it to my recipe box, aren’t I? WHY?!
And your toes look lovely. I definitely have never seen the fuss about feet either way. Sexy? Blurgh, no. Revolting? That’s weird, of course not. Functional? Yes, thank god!
But yours are looking much nicer than mine– I always have assorted calluses and rough patches. I finally took off my 3 month old nailpolish a month ago, but haven’t applied more since it’s winter. And I never moisturize my feet, although my boyfriend did give me a lovely foot massage yesterday with some avocado body butter… ah. Best they’ve felt in a looong time.
Nice polish color, too!
Your feet are gorgeous. I am so happy you got to have your pedicure!
I went into labor three weeks early on the day I had scheduled my one and only pre labor pedicure and I really thought about going anyway. Or seeing if they would come the hospital. I went for a make up one a few weeks later but it wasn’t the same. I’m ashamed to admit I’m still bitter about the whole thing.
I second the foot comments. Your feet look lovely and not a bit like the horrifying, trussed hams I was dragging around by week 39.
Pretty toes. Holy, mother, look at that cake. Good thing there’s no way for me to get my hands on a cake mix.
Also, here in Shanghai, every other corner has a place where you can get a $6-$10 foot massage (+ calf, + shoulders, + head if you pay the $10 and it’s at a fancy spa where you can get waxed for $15, too). And I’m sorry for bragging, but not very much, because I am actually stuck here in obnoxious-ville. And I’m sorry to anybody who loves Shanghai to all heights, but…oh, forget it.
Looking very much forward to news about the little dude.
Toes….it’s just the little pinky toes that are the wierdos i reckon…
You have such pretty feet! I have crazy gnarly sloth toes due to drawing the genetic short straw and years of dance so I am always jealous of nice feet.
Also, I’m going to have to try that cake! There can be no fault with something that includes “GOOEY” and “BUTTER” in the title.
Kinda sad knowing that your posts will be few in the coming weeks, but totally stoked that you’re moving in to this new phase in your life so fricking beautifully…
Ok, so, the last three sentences started were creepy-internet-stalker-y/ over-sentimental for someone I’ve never met… so, I’ll say, I send to YOU, JB, Riley, and little D wishes for love, peace (newborn, mmmkay), and sweet happiness.
You rock.
Man…my first exposure to gooey butter cake came from your blog a few years years ago. It is so delicious. I recently made it for an office dessert contest, and absolutely mauled the competition. Thanks for reminding me of its deliciousness.
Holy mother of god, do I want some of that cake! Sadly, I am not permitted to eat from the Fuckit Bucket and instead will spend my free time this weekend running like a good girl. Also, I’m tres jealous of your pretty feet — mine have been ruined by genetics and the aforementioned running. I polish my toenails to distract people from looking at the rest feet. Sigh.
How are your feet not swollen? I would have never guessed you were @ the end of your pregnancy. I hate you. I have Barney Rubble feet. Even with the pedicure I got weeks ago (Baby is L-A-T-E), my feet still look like ass.
I miss my feet bones. . . :(
What is WITH ParentDish commenters? It’s like BabyCenter, where the bulletin boards start all “OMG I AM SO EXCITED TO BE HERE!!!” and about 5 minutes later are in one of those cartoon dust clouds with fists and shoes and weapons poking out.
OOOOOH Gooey butter cake! That’s right up my alley!
Also I am in the same boat as you with the feet thing, they’re feet, we walk on them. Yours look lovely I might add.
I’ve been wanting to make a gooey butter cake for ages. I may now save it for that last week before I’m due, as it sounds like a perfect way to celebrate that last week of being an incubator.
Oh your feet are lovely — which I mean in a totally benign sort of way.
I’m really excited for you and will be waiting soooo anxiously for the news of the baby. If I survive until Monday that is because the virus of death that has been traveling around these parts finally landed squarely on my head and man, when you’re pregnant, you can’t even take any of the good drugs. Bleh.
Enjoy eating from the buckit and generally relaxing as much as possible for the next few days!
P.S. I need to learn to proofread, I can obviously spell bucket (as opposed to buckit) but I think I was confusing it with fuckit. Easy to do when your head is stuffed with cotton. Sorry!
That cake sounds great. Oh, and I did just update but I got some skeezey undergrad frat boy looking guy responing with “sleep, darling” and when I told him how I felt about his comment he wrote me back with “just warning,beware.” Um…wtf? I think I need to change everything now. Enjoy slothing around.
Ah, the gooey butter cake. You can make it with chocolate bottom and peanut butter middle! Pumpkin is of course fantastic as well. In one of Paula Deen’s cookbooks she lists about 20 variations, and they are pretty much all orgasmically good.
Wow, that cake looks awesome. That link was much more drool-inducing than the placenta link.
What movie did you choose?
I hope your week goes by as quickly or as slowly as you’d like and that you’re comfortable. Your toes look great – can’t wait to see the new little person.
Damn! You can still see the bones in your feet! I looked like a fricking marshmallow right before giving birth.
Very pretty toes (don’t worry, I mean that in a “not wanting to lick them” sorta way).
I was surprised when I realized how many pictures of my feet I have. I really don’t have a fetish, I just think they are interesting.
Hope you enjoy your week of slothing. Did you inform Riley? LOL.
I just updated. In case you care. :-)
Nice toes! I am completely hooked on the mani/pedi routine. Hope you find the chance to keep it up if you so chose after STP arrives which is literally going to be ANY DAY NOW!
I had a scheduled induction and my husband and I were both expecting the hospital to ask us to come down way earlier than they actually allowed us to come. We called at 6am and they denied us entry until 11pm that night. Don’t want to freak you out,just warning you. Knowledge IS power, right? I wish I had been warned…although maybe I was and my brain chose to file it in the junk drawer. Anyway, load up on reading material and whatever you need to distract yourself from the wait. I will keep my fingers crossed for you!
hey now, i update daily!. gooey butter cake sounds like something paula dean would make. i wish she was my grandma or MIL! Imagine a MIL encourging you to get fat instead of ragging my ass for not losing post partum weight before leaving the hospital.
I watched Paula Deen make Gooey Butter Cake once… and yesterday she made… (are you ready for this?!)… deep fried, bacon-wrapped macaroni and cheese.
Anything from a Paula Deen show would suffice for a Fuckit Bucket urge, I think.
And the feet? Jesus, mine were ping pong paddles by 5 months along. You look GOOD!
Oh lordy — the Gooey Butter Cake is almost exactly the same as my recipe for YOU ARE ALL NOW MY SLAVES. Seriously, with a slight adjustment (1 egg in the cake mix, 3 eggs in the cream cheese goo (instead of 2 and 2)) this is why I look forward to the holidays because both sides of our family regularly bow down to my baking glory. I may try it your variation and see how the texture is different. Mmmmm. I get goose bumps just thinking about it. Gooey Butter Cake AND the hot paraffin dip? Damn, girl.
I guess you deserve it, what with the prolonged gestation and all… :)
Hey, I update almost every day! Bring your enormity over there sometime and hang out. Also, much good luck with Baby #2. My #2 was a DOOZY! She still is. Like a whirlwind that arrived and hasn’t left. If you are familiar with Chicken Soup with Rice, turn to March. That wind blowing down the door is my #2. Ha.
How is it possible that at 38+ weeks pregnant your feet still look normal? Mine were a sad water logged version of their former self by that point. Great color choice, can’t go wrong with trampy red.
Gooey butter cake for breakfast anyone?
Nice toes! I’ve always referred to that shade of red as “Catch Me, Fuck Me” red. If I ever see that name on an actual bottle of red polish I will buy from that particular company until the day I die. And now I’m off to read the Butter Cake recipe cuz, you know, my Chub Rub isn’t bad enough.
What is UP with the ParentDish comments? I was over there last night catching up on your last week or two and was totally blown away. It’s like you could go over there and post a single word, perhaps something like “Spork”, add a picture, and then watch the angry comments roll in. Crazy. It would make me not want to even bother.
Love the polish color – is very festive for the big day…
Your toes look very pretty. I’d die before I subjected some poor lady to my Hobbit feet. That and I can’t stand for anyone to mess with them, period.
I’ve heard tell that the Gooey Cakes were remarkable, but now you’ve completely pushed me over the edge. I’m so making one!
“Too freaky!”
Just kidding. Even though I’m not into feet, I think yours look just fine.
For your post-baby pedi, whether it’s 6 months or 6 weeks later, you should consider Russian Navy or Lincoln Park after Dark – my faves. You can harken back to your goth days while maintaining your chic and stylish mommy aura. :o)
Dude! What’s the deal with those Parent Dish freaks? I had to stop reading your posts over there because the commenters are fucking psychos.
Your toes look muy fantastico!
How can you be so organized? I can’t even get my poop in a group and I don’t have a toddler and I’m not 9 months pregnant. You amaze me. I’m glad STP’s delivery is near and I’m happy that you’ll have a few days to relax before he arrives.
Since someone filed the skin of the tip of my toe once I’m always extra cautious with pedis but I’ve been super curious about the paraffin thing. Is it really that good? My feet are a mess right now and that sounds so fun.
Do not worry about the 6 month color thing. I’m not pregnant and I do that. Just too lazy to take that shit off.
The pedi looks fab! I got one right before my son was born and seriously, it helped the whole labor process just to be able to look down at my well maintained brightly painted toes.
Have a thoroughly relaxing week!
Nice toes! I looove getting pedicures. Enjoy your week!
We did some ad concepts at work that featured a person with their feet up on their desk, and all the focus group comments were a variation of this: “OMG EWWWWWW! FEET! CANNOT COMMENT FURTHER DUE TO THE FEET!!!!!”
thanks for the recipe, it’s my birthday today and I might have to make it for myself this weekend….
Happy Week of Sloth, it’s important to do this before Smalltopuss is here so that you can look back fondly on this week of luxury when you’re up in the middle of the night changing poopy blowouts….
http://www.opaqueprintproduction.com/jbblog
I recommend adding chocolate chips to the Gooey Butter Cake. But that’s just me. And I haven’t been pregnant in 15 years.
I’m actually surprised that there isn’t a nail color called Engorged Labia considering some of the OPI color names like:
Don’t Socra-tease Me!,Blushingham Palace and
Tijuana Dance?
Ditto the other comments regarding Parent Dish… I used to read that site on a fairly regular basis, but since your posts have been unleashing the insanity over there I decided to take a break. What is up with people, seriously???
It’s amazing how a pedicure can make you feel.
Enjoy your time relaxing!
How is it that youre this pregnant and your feet are not holding ANY fluid? I was rockin’ the cankles by 8 months, at 9 my toes were little smokies.
Gooey butter cake sounds awesome. Just from the title. I think I’d be scared to even think about eating it, though. What with all the butter AND cream cheese…
So why aren’t your feet all puffy and swollen?? Why? When I was pregnant, I had small balloons attached to my (balloon-like) ankles. Not fair.
I think I’ll jump on the bandwagon and take this opportunity to plug my blog! Check her out…start from the beginning…about a week ago…6 entries. That should keep you busy for 20 minutes or so. It goes well with Gooey Cake………..
YAY for you and your great Pedi…I am assuming the mani is just as nice. Good for you that you do nice things for yourself. Enjoy your “slothing”.
As for your blog over at ParentDish – I love your vanilla entries and as for the trolls, give them the verbal equivalent of the middle finger and write what you like.
Oooh, i loved the final week of my pregnancy. all the movies, food, and lying around that my absurdly large body could take.
p.s. there’s a four month old coat of “midnight in moscow” on my toes.
Here’s my favorite “gooey” recipie:
Goeey Chocolate cookies:
http://www.foodnetwork.com/food/recipes/recipe/0,,FOOD_9936_33981,00.html
I wish i had skinny long toes like yours, my feet are seriously shaped like a baby foot. Fat and stubby and small. That being said I can always find my shoe size on sale.
No I am not of the toe-boner type. But my pre-christmas pedicure nail polish is also still on my toes and will be until either A. Summer, or B. it wears off.
I agree on the pedicure thing – I have even told my husband that the pedicure is not about the polish, it’s about the attention my feet get. I could totally skip the polish, so long as I would still get to soak, be scrubbed, etc.
And your feet don’t look anything like mine did when I was as pregnant as you! (Although my toenails were a very similar color from my recent pedicure).
Good luck – enjoy your last weekend as the mother of one child!!
You totally crack me up!!
You have exceptionally beautiful feet! And I *love* that nail polish color.
You guys are so nice, I swear. I don’t know why my feet aren’t the size of twin Goodyear blimps like they were with Riley, I guess maybe the super-cold (for the Pac NW, anyway) weather has some upsides? Either that or the excess water is going somewhere else during this pregnancy, like the part of my brain responsible for remembering where my car keys are.
Yum, you are making me hungry. With the cake not with the toes. It’s sad that pictures of your feet need to come with a disclaimer regarding passionate thoughts.
I’m so jealous! With another 6 weeks before I can happily run off to my maternity leave, I am stuck at work making wish lists of Fun Things I Will Do Before the Baby While On Leave. Cake and pedicures are definitely near the top.
Pedicures are the greatest! You’ve inspired me to run off and get one. (Also, to try for a baby if pregnancy will make me as good-looking as you are.)
I personally will be breaking out the “I’m Not Really a Waitress” red. Oh, OPI, with your punny suites of names for everything.
Damn but do you have a way with words.
How can your feet look that good? Where is the swelling? I week before both my kids were born my feet looked like they belonged to the Pillsbury Doughboy.
You are brilliant to remember to get all these things done before the baby is born.
I’m *so* happy for you that you get to relax and do whatever in the hell you want to do the week before the baby comes. SO much different from when you had Riley: didn’t even have a chance to clean out closets or pack your bag!
Enjoy your ‘vacation’, enjoy your perfectly pampered toes, enjoy everyone’s blogs (*coughMINEMINEMINEcough*), and enjoy all the sinful food.
Me jealous? Um, yes. But in a good way!
Love the toes – yeah, what is it about people who are turned on by feet? I’m sure someone will be tagging your photo anytime now to add to their “collection.” I also am fond of the polish names – I used to wear one called “A Man in Every Port” or something that might have been a little sluttier (”Cock in Every Port?”) In any event, the names these days are entertaining, to say the least.
I am just lurking around your site, waiting, WAITING, for the big event. So excited for you and can’t wait to see the little gem and then hear all about your trials and tribulations. I want to have another baby soon, too, but it is so hard to imagine doing all of that shit again (the getting up 10 times a night, the super-enhanced bat hearing where any noise made by the child is deafening and wakes you, the sore nips, etc). When I look at my son, though (he is just a few months younger than Riley) I know that it is all worth it, despite the fact that I wanted to throttle his darling ass this morning when he decided it was time to have “nana ju” (banana smoothie) and “wa choo choo” (watch Thomas video) at 4:30AM. It’s worth it, I say. I can’t wait to hear what you have to say on this go around!
Hang in there and have more gooey cakes. Soon enough you will be contemplating the damage (frankly, I think you look fantastic) and will be forcing yourself to eat those damned shrink-your-ass salads again!! More butter – NOW.
I’ve never understood the whole pedicure thing. Feet don’t gross me out, I just don’t see why you would want to take care of them and perdy them up. I pretty much pretend mine don’t exist unless I step on a nail or drop something on one of them. Occasionally I will bust out my razor knife and cut off the callus’, but otherwise, they are for walking on and kicking ass with, not looking at or pampering. And also, why the hell can’t make up people just name the damn product the real color. It’s red. There’s been the same three fucking shades since 1920 or whenever they created it. Red. It’s not from Russia, and it doesn’t come with love. Only lies about what color it is. And while you are out there checking sites, you might be interested in knowing that a certain pregnant somebody made my last post about internet crushes. I left out the part about how much fun I have dressing up your hair doll so you wouldn’t be creeped out. Have fun waddling around your ice land, it’s almost sixty degrees here. I worked outside in shorts and a t-shirt today. Also, I can touch my toes. Later. ;)
WORD on ParentDish. Did you make a real-life enemy with an incredible amount of time on his or her hands and a penchant for fake names, or something? Because — the dedication! It’s bizarre.
I have to tell you, I’m 5 months pregnant and ADDICTED to your blog. Not only your current blog, but ever since you posted every last detail about Riley’s birth and everything therafter, I can’t stop reading. I think by the end of tomorrow I might be caught up to the current and read all of 2 years in about 5 days. Thanks for all the great info.
[...] At eat entirely from the Fuckit Bucket. [...]
I’m very happy for you that your pregnancy is almost over, but in a selfish way I’m bummed that the blog entries will stop for a while. Of course I know there will be new and cool entries forthcoming (new baby! new photos! Riley’s reaction!) so they’ll be worth the wait.
I think ParentDish must be paying those few wackos to post such terrible comments, just to stir up everyone in the hopes that PD will therefore get more readers. I love your stuff and I just don’t look at the comments anymore (maybe we should all make a pact to ignore the comments – you too Linda!)
Sounds like OPI polish – they have the cleverest, punniest names!
I’m scared to check out that Gooey Cake — we’re still suffering from the damages done by Comfort Cookies which just happen to have 1 1/2 cups chocolate chips, 1 1/2 cups butterscotch chips, 1 cups chopped nuts and oh possibly 1 cup of butter. I think you need to ask me for the recipe for after the cake is done!
OH. MAH. GAHD. I followed Lawyerish’s link to the Paula Deen (Dean?) Gooey Pumpkin Butter Cake, from your post a couple of days ago. DUDE. SERIOUSLY. I might die of sugar shock and blissful dessert enjoyment. I think perhaps I have never tasted any cake that was better than that stuff. I think we should re-name it something much more naughty sounding.
*running off to shove a spoon in the pan again*
i hate feet in general, but i think you have very lovely feet, esp. for a pregnant woman. i love OPI nail polish. my favorites are purpleopolis and i’m not really a waitress.
Seriously – your feet don’t even LOOK pregnant. My feet were terrible, my ankles were huge – of course, it was July in Southern Mississippi, which is hot, damn hot – but still. I am trying not to hold your beautiful pregnant feet against you, if only because I have a huge blog crush on you, in the most platonic sense.
A pedicure is really the best thing you can do for yourself right before having that baby – I know my own would cheer me right up, and make me feel pretty, even if I hadn’t brushed my teeth OR my hair.
I really like the color and am apathetic towards feet…so…good entry. One of my feet is currently encased in one of those odd air casts that they tell you to wear all the time, and you never do. At least, if you are me.
This is off topic, but you should totally enter Dog in the WE TV Picture Perfect Pet Contest! You have sooo many awesome pictures of her + she has a flock of fans.
I entered my fur baby:
http://pictureperfectpet.wetv.com/profile.aspx/kellymars/?sort=alpha&r=1&pos=5197
The winner gets 5,000 smackers (or bones, I should say, since it IS a doggy contest).
My little one came running to the computer to see your pretty toes, she thinks they are very beautiful!
So – I knew what the Gooey Butter Cake is without having to click on the link. I avoided clicking on side link because seeing a Gooey Butter Cake and/or the list of ingredients causes me to gain 5 pounds! I’m jeolous – sort of. I’m in the reduction phase of my life and have lost 80 pounds recently. No Gooey Butter Cake for me – thank you very much.
[...] February 2, 2008 amykatrina I decided to make a gooey butter cake of sorts. This phenomenon, the transformation of a cake mix into something heart-attackingly decadent, was pointed out to me by All & Sundry and her commenters. It sounded too good to pass up. As you well know, I can’t see a dessert and not try it. [...]
hisap zakar…
Untuk terakhir lakukan test ping ke Gateway/ ke yahoo….
sexy feet